Sætta
by Raggedy Hunter
Summary: Vague dreams are all that Loki has of the past six years. As he struggles to understand the events that will follow the return of his memories, Loki must decide whether he will return to his old ways or try and shape himself for the better with the help of the Avengers. Rated T for language and some violence. Updates on the 14th & 28th of each month.
1. Hjódlynder

Sharp intake. Labored breathing. His green eyes shot open, so wide they could almost fall out of his skull.

_Where am I?_

Slowly turning his head, he winced. The pain on the back of his head pulsed, and he rolled slowly to his side.

_What's that noise?_

Quick shuffling, and suddenly... Twang!

The pain didn't register in his mind, and he looked up to the arrow sticking out of his upper arm. Reaching up with his other hand, he snapped part of it off, wincing as the arrow shifted underneath his flesh. Holding a whimper back, he looked up to see the shooter. A tall man leaped off a ledge and landed with a thud on the ground. Quickly the brown haired man regained his footing and began sprinting towards him. His green eyes widened as he tried to quickly back away from his attacker, but his arms collapsed underneath him, shaking. He looked up at the man. He had blue eyes and was wearing a sleeveless black uniform. Nocking an arrow onto his bow without blinking, he drew the bow string back and aimed at his skull. Something about this man felt almost sickeningly familiar. Black began to line his vision, and his head fell back onto the gravelly ground with a thud. The pulsing in his arm and the back of his head became a dull noise, like clock ticking in his mind. He blacked out, but not before hearing an all too familiar voice roar far off.

_"Loki!"_

Perhaps it wasn't so far off.

_Brother?_

And then Loki was gone.

* * *

Loki's head rose up. He felt as though he had been thrown against a wall a few times. Maybe more than a few.

Now that he thought about it, Loki probably was. Raising himself onto one elbow, he felt the cool metal beneath him, and brought one hand to the back of his aching head. He felt the rough gauze wrapped around his skull and jumped at its touch.

_What the hell happened?_

He took in a sharp breath and blinked, allowing his eyes to adjust to the bright lights. His head was pounding, but as his panic began to set in, it became a dull ache in the back of his mind. Searching the room wildly, he slid off the table. The moment his feet hit the white tile floor, his knees buckled, and he fell to the ground. Closing his eyes in a vain attempt to dull the pain, Loki lifted his head once more and used his pale hands to help support him on the floor. Blinking a few times, he froze when he heard a door open.

"Brother? Is that you," the trickster god asked feebly, peeking slightly above the table. It was not his brother. Nor his parents.

A dark man was quickly walking towards him, a black patch covering one eye, much like Loki's father. Pushing himself a few feet back, Loki let slip a quiet gasp as his hands slipped out beneath him and he again hit the hard ground with a loud thud. The darker man gave a crooked smile at this as he stood over the young prince.

"Do you know where you are, Loki?"

He opened his mouth to respond, but could only sputter frantically as he tried to slide away from the man. He last remembered being in Asgard, talking to Thor and his friends about going on some sort of childish rampage.

The man gave an amused snort and turned swiftly on his heel. "You are at S.H.I. . headquarters, Loki." The man turned on his heel again, his black trench coat fanning out behind him. Loki shot him a perplexed look.

"I'm... On Midgard?" The prince asked quietly.

The man, who Loki was sure he had seen before, narrowed his dark eye and bent down on one knee next to Loki. Baring his teeth, he growled, "You know _damn well_ where you are."

Loki's breathing was quick and shallow as his panic grew. "How did I... When... Who are you?" His green eyes looked up at the menacing man before him.

The look of rage on the darker man's face grew, and then subsided ever so slightly. His eyes opened a mite wider as his brain registered that Loki's look of innocent befuddlement was no act. Letting out a loud breath, he walked quickly from the room. Moments later, a group of people dressed in white clothing came in. Four held down Loki's weakened limbs, and he felt a sharp pain in his arm as the last person crouched down next to him. Again, his vision began to fade, and within seconds, he had blacked out.

* * *

Hushed whispers were all that he could hear when he awoke again.

_How long was I out?_

His muscles ached and throbbed, and his throat felt raspy. Painfully turning his neck, he saw his brother talking to the darker man in the corner of the bright room in hushed voices. A truly worried look was spread across Thor's face. Loki opened his mouth to call out to his brother, but only a raspy breath escaped his sore throat. Quietly clearing it, he opened his mouth again.

"Brother..." Loki silently cursed at how weak he sounded, but did not take his eyes off of Thor. His older brother turned towards him, the worry on his face lifting slightly. Taking long strides towards the metal table that held Loki, he smiled softly.

But as Thor got closer, Loki could see tears welling up in his brothers light blue eyes. Loki began to close his eyes slightly, his eyelids still heavy from the sedatives.

"How are you feeling, little brother?" Thor asked, his voice calm and quiet, far from how Loki last remembered him to sound. Was he out so long that his brother's garish personality was replaced with a wise, weathered man? Loki dismissed the thought. Surely he had simply fallen ill, and had slept for a mere few days?

But that did not explain why he was on Midgard. Or why Thor was on Midgard with him. Or the strangely familiar bowman, or trench coated man.

Thor's voice quickly pulled Loki out of his thoughts. "You have been asleep for two Midgard days, Loki," he told his little brother softly, taking a seat on a small metal stool next to the table.

Loki let out a soft breath of relief. He was right, he had simply fallen ill.

"But Agent Fury has had the mortals perform tests on you of sorts..." Thor looked up from his lap like a kicked puppy, and continued: "they say that it is possible you have partially lost part of your memory. They are unsure of what you have lost, though, Brother. What do you last remember?"

Loki slowly opened his mouth, and closed it again, considering. Looking back at Thor, he saw how truly distraught his brother was.

"I... We..." Loki began slowly, swallowing spit down his scratchy throat, "we and the Warrior's Three, and Lady Sif... We were..." He paused, looking at Thor's face. His brother looked simply horrified. Gulping once again, Loki continued, much quieter this time. "You all had set on traveling to Jotunheim, and..." He paused, thinking hard. "I don't know after that. I'm sorry, Brother." Loki looked down at his hands, and then glanced between Thor, and the darker man, who he assumed to be the Agent Fury that Thor had referred to earlier. He could see Thor's tears welling up again, and the look of subtle disbelief on Agent Fury's scarred face.

Thor took a shuddering breath, clearly trying to hold back his tears. "Oh, Brother," Thor began quietly, staring at his lap. "You truly do not remember, do you?"

Loki shook his head slightly, and winced when the ache of his wrapped up head returned to his thoughts. "Remember?" He asked, clearly a little strained.

Agent Fury spoke up now, startling both Loki and Thor. "Yes, 'remember'. Remember what you did, to innocent people, to Midgard, to-"

"Fury, that's enough." The door clicked closed as the new voice spoke up. "If he doesn't remember, forcing it all on him at once will only make the previous issue worse." It was a woman speaking.

"'Previous problem'?" Fury asked, not hiding the anger in his voice. "It is still a problem, and it will be for far too long!"

The woman waved a hand, dismissing the man. He hair was red, almost unnaturally so, and short. She turned to Thor, refusing to look at Loki. "The other Avengers are waiting for you, Thor." She said in an unusually firm to for such a fair woman.

"Thank you, Agent Romanoff." Thor replied softly. He looked back at Loki. "Try to get rest, Brother. You need it." And with that, Thor stood, exiting the room after Agent Fury and Agent Romanoff.

And then Loki was alone in the brightly lit room.

He couldn't help but feel overwhelmingly alone, and it unsettled him how familiar, and almost right, that felt.

* * *

_Loki whirled around, staring a Frost Giant in the eye. It lunged at him, and fell to its death as Loki's double vanished. The real Loki felt a smirk spread on his face as he stalked away from the site. Thor was viciously swinging Mjölnr around, taking out countless Frost Giants without batting an eye. Thor's friends fought loyally beside him. Loki quickly took down more Frost Giants with ease. Suddenly, a hand grabbed Loki's bare wrist. Turning sharply to face the opponent, his breath hitched when his green eyes fell on his wrist. Underneath the Jotun's blue engraved hand, Loki's own wrist began to turn blue, the dark pigment stretching slowly across his forearm and hand, the intricate carvings forming along his limb. Letting out a shuddering breath, Loki pulled away, and struck at the Frost Giant._

* * *

Air quickly filled his lungs as his breath sped up. Loki scrabbled frantically, feeling around for the walls of the cold world of Jotunheim. Instead, his long, bony fingers grasped warm air. After a few moments of adjusting to the light that swarmed the room, he recalled where he was, and his breathing calmed ever so slightly.

_What a strange thing to dream_, Loki thought.


	2. Íhuga

Thor's head rested between his fingers. A light sigh escaped his lips. His mind raced, despite the calm composure he was putting up in front of his comrades. The other Avenger's voices droned like a beehive in the back of Thor's mind, and he only caught bits and pieces of their conversations.

"How do we know if this isn't just an act of his?" Clint's sharp voice asked. The man's hands supported him against the round, metal table they were all seated at.

"The tests showed clear signs of damage," Bruce replied, taking off his glasses and rubbing the lenses clean with his shirt. Placing them back on the bridge of his nose, Bruce continued, "And to be blunt, he seems to truly have no idea what's going on. And Thor said that Loki claimed to only remember up until about one year before our first run in with the guy."

Thor looked up briefly at the sound of his name, and Clint grunted at Bruce's reasoning. "I still don't trust the guy as far as you could throw him," Clint grumbled quietly to Bruce.

To Thor's right, Tony Stark was pulling up screens and manipulating them. He had stopped participating in the conversation before it had begun, as he usually did. For a genius, he sure didn't do much to initially help any of them.

Bruce sighed and turned back to Tony. "How are we supposed to even go about this?"

Tony glanced at Bruce, and ran his eyes across the table to all of the others before focusing again on the screens, which Thor could understand enough to know that Tony was monitoring Loki's condition.

Using his hands to ball up the screen and discard it, Tony swiped his hands together as if brushing crumbs off of them, and turned back to everyone else, taking his awkward position of sitting on the edge of the table. Exhaling, he looked at Bruce and said, "How would I know to deal with this? Um, last I checked, the guy attacked Earth, twice, and the second time he's suffered memory loss? How do you even deal with that, minus the whole 'Earth's Most Wanted'?" Tony paused when Thor looked up. "Sorry, Point Break, but it's true. He is. Anyways, Bruce, don't ask me what to do about this. Even if I did want to help, it is Fury's decision in the end."

"I suppose so," Bruce sighed, slumping into his seat.

"What, you actually want to help this son of a bitch?" Clint asked disgustedly, straightening up.

Thor looked up from his thoughts again, frowning at Clint.

Bruce rubbed his forehead. "He just seems so... Scared. Like he's honestly and truly terrified. It just doesn't seem right not to help him. You can't tell me that it's wrong to want to help someone who has no idea what's going on? I mean, he has missed the past six years entirely."

"Sure, help a clueless person," Clint said, his brow furrowed as he turned his head to the metallic door, "but not him. He's done too much."

Thor sighed as he listened to Clint and the others talk. "I know you are reluctant to aid him, Agent Barton, and for that, I cannot blame you for that." Thor sounded truly exhausted, and Bruce and Tony glanced at him, never having heard the thunder god any less than energetic. "But he does not remember his crimes. Loki is unaware of what he has committed. He doesn't even remember the last time he and I battled as brothers in Jotunheim, right before I was first sent to Midgard."

"That's a lot of missed time," Natasha chimed in, "but wether he remembers or not does not excuse the fact that New York has a memorial for those who died when he first visited, and they're likely going to need a new one by the time the city is cleaned up again." The others had nearly forgotten the second agent was there, and jumped when she began speaking.

"Why is it always New York?" Tony grumbled under his breath.

Clint sighed. "Do what you guys want, but I'm sure most of us would agree that this guy doesn't deserve our help." The archer pushed out his chair as he stood and strode out of the Avenger's makeshift meeting room.

Thor watched him leave, a heavy weight in his heart. He longed to help his brother, but how could he ever bring the young prince back to Asgard to get help? And none on Midgard were jumping at the idea. His head rested back into his hand, and he began to block out the rest of the continuing conversation.

* * *

Loki had been moved to a bed with a cushion, albeit a two-inch wide cushion, with the support of a run down, wooden wheel burrow. He shifted uncomfortably on the small bed, blinking slowly. There was a black window on one wall. His green eyes narrowed at it, wondering what the glass' purpose was. Loki's eyes moved slowly to the door that lay across the room from his bed. He considered opening the door and leaving many times, but where would he go? Loki hadn't, as his damaged memory served, been to Midgard in far too long, and he hadn't the slightest clue what would lay on the other side of the silver door. Sighing, he rolled onto his back. Wincing, he lifted one leg so that his knee pointed towards the ceiling.

The door clicked open quietly, but Loki did not turn his head, for fear of hurting the back of his head further.

"Hello, Loki." It was a calm man's voice. Loki looked at him, only moving his eyes. Something about this man was, despite his calm nature, frightening, and Loki almost cringed in fear out of reflex. Had he met this man during the time he no longer had? "My name is Bruce Banner. I'm a doctor, and I'd like to talk to you." The man slowly sat down on the metal stool, but subtly pulled it away a few inches as he sat down, as if he, too, felt slight fear upon looking at Loki. Loki narrowed his eyes as the man continued to speak.

"So they've explained to you what has happened to you, correct?"

"Yes," Loki nodded slowly.

"Well, after discussing it with the other doctors," Bruce continued, "we decided it would be best to, for the time being, let you remember on your own. Otherwise, it could cause... Problems." Bruce's skin seemed to shift a single shade, but Loki barely caught the change, and dismissed it as him being tired and injured.

"Why did I forget, though?" Loki asked, turning his head painfully to face Bruce. "Why is it am I here, on Midgard, rather than Asgard?"

Bruce pursed his lips, focusing on one of the white tiles as if it was a work of art to be scrutinized. "You forgot because of the injury. On your head, I mean. And you're on Midgard because of a fight."

Loki's eyes narrowed at the doctor. "How did I get hit that hard? And what fight?" His voice raised slightly, letting his panic show through slightly. He wasn't one for fights, he knew this, he never had been. Surely Thor had dragged him into one of his endless tussles with every living being he could find.

"We'll... We'll get to that later. You have to try to remember most things on your own, remember?"

Loki snorted, frustrated at the doctors poor explanation.

* * *

_His mind was frazzled. He was barely aware of what was happening, or why, but it was. And it scared him._

_Loki took a step back, breathing hard. He felt angry. So, so unbelievably angry._

_"TELL ME!" He had shouted to his father._

_Anger. Despair. Betrayal. Fear. Confusion. A mere five of the raging emotions that filled his brain in that moment._

_The All Father just looked at his son sadly._

_Loki yelled, shouted, pounded his fists. "Tell me!" His voice grew weaker, into a shuddering breath as he stared up at his father._

_Was he really his father?_

_Of course he was, what was Loki thinking?_

_His father fell, and pure panic set into Loki's mind._

_"Guards! Help!" The prince called for help._

_Golden-clad palace guards rushed to his fathers side, gently nudging Loki out of the way._

_A tear fell from Loki's brilliant green eyes._

_"Tell me..." He whispered._

* * *

Loki shoved himself off the stuff bed, breathing hard. He gulped down air, trying to calm himself as he scrambled helplessly on the bed. "Father!" He cried, nearly falling off the small bed before large hands caught him. He shuddered and looked up, about to swing at the person holding him, before realizing it was Thor at his bed side. The metal stool was discarded haphazardly to the side, as though Thor had jumped from it to keep his brother from hurting himself.

"What is it, Loki? Are you alright?" Thor asked, gulping as he helped Loki into a sitting position on the bed.

"I-I was y-yelling at father, and he-he fell on the s-steps. I called for help and... And..." Loki paused, catching his breath, before slowly lifting his head, staring at Thor. "What didn't he tell me? I was asking him to tell me something..." Loki whispered.

Thor visibly froze, his hands still holding Loki's firmly. He glanced at the ground and back to Loki's fearful eyes. "I'm sorry, Brother, but... I do not know what father didn't tell you. And how can you be sure this is a memory and not just a simple dream?" Thor cracked Loki a fake smile, and his green eyes narrowed at his older brother.

"I... I suppose it could've been a dream," Loki said quietly, looking at the tiles.

And yet, the feeling of betrayal began to well up in the pit of his stomach, as he realized that Thor was lying to him.

* * *

Natasha walked down the hall, a step in front of Clint. Both kept silent as they left the meeting room.

Breaking the silence, Clint spoke first. "Do you believe he just happened to lose his memory? I mean, what are the chances, Nat?"

Natasha pursed her lips before responding. "Clint, I don't trust him. None of us really do, except maybe Thor. I don't even understand why he would still trust Loki after all this time, though." She glanced at Clint, continuing. "As for the odds? If it was any other situation that we were in, I wouldn't believe it at all. But it was the Hulk that threw him into the ground. To be blunt," Natasha said, turning her head to Clint as they walked down the corridor, "I'm surprised that he made it out of there with just that little head wound."

Clint grunted, looking away. "I still think its an act. In some way, it has to be."

Natasha sighed. "Clint?" She stopped him and turned his face back to her gently. "Clint. I know how you feel about this. I know he controlled your mind-"

"Heart," he corrected.

"And I don't blame you for thinking its a trick." She continued. "I really don't. Because I don't think I believe it myself, either. But please, don't try to get too involved. Just stay away from him. He didn't control you, you didn't..." She hesitated, biting her lip, "no one died, no other agents, and no civilians were killed this time. Just don't do anything that you'll regret."

"Who said I was planning on doing anything to the guy?" Clint asked, cocking an eye brow defensively.

"Clint."

That was all Natasha said before glancing at the tile floor, swiveling on her heel, and continued to walk down the hall. Clint stood there, his grip tightening on his bow at the thought of S.H.I.E.L.D.S. newest resident.


	3. Læging

**Hey guys! :D thank you for those who have taken the time to read this so far, and favourite and follow it! This is my first story, so I'm hoping you all take to it well. ^-^ if you'd like, please leave a review to give me your thoughts so far; anything you think I could improve on would be greatly appreciated, and I'll try to reply to any reviews I get!**

**Also, you probably noticed the names of the chapters and of the story. They're in Old Norse, but as to how correct they are, I'm not entirely certain. If you would like to correct me on any meanings(for old Norse, or correct me on any Marvel/mythology) please send me a PM and I'll fix it ASAP!  
Also, the meaning of each of the names for the chapters will be revealed in a quote that pertains to the chapter in some form, as seen below. I will not, however, reveal the meaning of the story's title just yet. You can look it up yourself, but it would be cool if you didn't so it doesn't spoil how the story will go ^-^  
-Raggedy Hunter**

* * *

_"When we have lost everything, including hope, life becomes a __**disgrace**__, and death a duty." - W. C. Fields_

* * *

Loki sat on the edge of the small bed shaking, his heart beating fast. He could feel numbness slowly creep up his feet and hands. Panic attacks had happened occasionally in his youth, but he hadn't had one in a long time. The familiar feeling made his stomach clench up as he swayed on the metal bed. Thor had left the room a while ago, but Loki had lost track of time. The thought of the dreams he was having being fragments of what was real shook him badly, and he longed to lack his ability to detect lies for once. Thor had blatantly lied to him, and brushed it off as if it was nothing.

The wound on his head and arm had begun to heal by now, as he had been in S.H.I.E.L.D for, by what one of the doctors said, a week now. Thor, the doctors, and Agent Fury were the only beings that filtered through his room in this time, and despite having his brother there, Loki felt so lost and alone. His arms shook violently, trying to hold him up as his mind raced. Had he not been so panicked, Loki would have heard the metal door click open, and the clicking footsteps come towards him. But when the voice sounded only two feet from him, he jolted and looked up, afraid. Loki had nearly fallen off the bed, but shakily straightened himself in front of the agent before him.

"Agent Romanoff," Loki bowed his head slightly, rather angry with himself for remembering a name, rather than his own life.

The red-haired agent nodded at him, her lips pursed. "Come on." And then she sashayed out of the room, her heels clicking down the tile flooring.

Loki stood, his legs trembling slightly as the panic began to slowly ebb away. Taking long strides after the agent, his mind wandered as they made their way down the corridor. She stopped suddenly in front of another locked door - mortals had no trust in anyone, what with all the hidden and locked away rooms, Loki decided - and after Natasha punched in some numbers, a soft click was heard, and she let herself into the room. It was a rather small room. A round, metal table was stationed in the center, with six metallic chairs around it. Loki flinched when he looked at the four people sitting around the table, and the one pacing at the front of the room. Realizing who the pacing human was, Loki's stomach lurched and he lifted an arm defensively, backing towards the already closed door. They all looked up at him and Natasha as they entered, and the pacing man, who Loki remembered to be the archer who had tried to kill him, narrowed pale blue eyes at the prince. Loki's mouth opened as he drug his eyes across the familiar people seated around him and rested his green eyes onto the archer. He swallowed loudly, straightened the hospital gown he was wearing, and stood taller. Out of the corner of his eye, he saw Thor smile at his little brothers (restored) pride.

Hearing the door click once more after a few moments of silence, Loki shifted fluidly to the side, avoiding the metal door as it hurled towards him, a rather pissed off Agent Fury behind it.

"What did you call me here f-" The head agent stopped short when he saw Loki standing against the corner of the room, and a slight snarl pulled at the corner of his mouth.

"We were hoping you could... Assist us." Natasha said, looking up at her superior with a look of apathy. "It was, apparently, decided that we should help... Him... To remember what has happened the past six years."

Clint snorted, and Fury raised an eyebrow questioningly. "Didn't you decide that it would be best for him to remember on his own?" Fury asked sternly, turning to face Bruce.

"Initially," Bruce stood, straightening his shirt collar, "yes. But we've been monitoring him the past week, and the other doctors and I decided it might be good to help him along."

Thor bit his lip, and Loki frowned at the people in the room. Help? How could they help? They didn't even know each other!

"He is still going to need to remember on his own," Bruce continued, "but based on what he's told us - well, Thor - he is only remembering fragments and distorted details of the actual events. It could be detrimental to his recovery if the details aren't in proper place."

Thor shifted in his seat. Loki's jaw twitched.

"May I ask," everyone looked up at the young prince's sudden interjection, "but who are you all to decide whether or not I need help regaining health?" Loki raised an eye brow, scanning their faces. Vague ideas of who they were began to form in his mind. So close, he was, to remembering them, to putting names and experiences to their uneasy and angered faces. Who were they all?

The man in the dark grey shirt - it read a strange Midgard term, Loki noticed: Black Sabbath - huffed as he stood. "Trust me, if we told you, you wouldn't like it," he smiled sarcastically, clapping a hand on Loki's bony shoulder. Loki pulled away, and the man snorted.

The archer continued pacing at the head of the small room, shooting suspicious glances at Loki each time he turned.

"Well, Thor...?" Bruce said, waiting for the golden prince to take up what they had apparently planned. Loki eyed his brother.

Is he friends with these commoners?

Thor's smile faded slightly, he sighed, and then turned back to face Loki. "What have you remembered, brother?"

* * *

Loki shuddered, taking in what he had just been told. His limbs began to shake again, and he felt as though air no longer existed. Lied to... My entire life, a mirage! He almost let out a growl before Thor placed his hands very gently onto Loki's knees. His eyes slowly lifted to meet his brothers sullen gaze. "I'm... I- I'm a-"

"No." Thor cut him off quickly, not daring to let him utter the word. "Brother, oh, dear Brother, no." Thor knew all too well what the word would come to mean to Loki, how it would eat him away until his mind was filled with nothing but towering lies and lurking darkness.

Loki tried to regulate his breathing, and as he did so, remembered everyone else in the room. They all stared at him silently, and Loki was unsure what raced through their minds. The Sabbath man looked... Almost understanding, Loki noted. The red haired woman stared blankly at him, not a trace of life on her face. Bruce had placed his head on top of his laced together fingers and watch Loki silently; the archer had taken to leaning into the back corner of the little room, his eyes forever narrowed at the prince. Loki turned back to Thor.

"But, father- Odin- I..." Loki's words were choppy, his throat feeling tight, as if he were to cry.

Thor gently placed on hand onto Loki's shoulder. "Father fell into the Odinsleep, Loki. It was not your fault, nor anyone's. I am unsure of all the details, as I was still on Midgard when it happened, but I do know that you had not done anything to harm him. You were confused, and angry, brother." Thor bit his lip as tears began to gather at the bottom of Loki's pale eyes. Loki could see how taken aback the others were by his show of emotion, and he couldn't help but wonder, why?

"Brother, Thor, I-I'm so s-sorry," Loki said quietly, tripping over his words. How could he have done that all? Lying to Thor, attacking Midgard, all these horrible things. "What happened after you ret-turned? To Asgard?" Loki asked, looking up.

He could hear Thor's breath hitch slightly as his brothers blue gaze fell to his lap. "Another memory, Loki. For another time." The words were barely audible, despite the horrible silence that filled the tiny room.

"Well," the Sabbath man said, clapping his hands once loudly. "I suppose it's high time we introduce, or, correction, reintroduce ourselves. I'm Tony Stark." He extended a hand towards Loki jokingly, and swiveled on his heel as he began to walk towards the door, pulling up a screen out of the air. The door opened, and Tony left. Only now had Loki realized that Fury was gone as well. He turned back to the others, his eyes wide, his hands shaking, as Thor gave him a reassuring shake on the shoulder.

* * *

They had moved into a bigger room. Bruce and Thor sat in chairs across from Loki, explaining things to the naïve prince. Things that were, apparently, more common, or only on, Earth.

Clint stared at Banner and Thor, an eye brow raised slightly. Reading Loki's body language, it all seemed too real to be an act. Shaking his head, he tried to dismiss his doubts. Surely, Loki was putting this up. Why, Clint had no idea. But he did know that there was a reason for it, and that he would not begin to trust Loki anytime soon. If ever.

Natasha pulled him away from his thoughts with a hard poke to the ribs, and he jolted away from her. "Hey!" He shouted, covering up his slightly sore ribs. Natasha raised an eye brow at him, smirking slightly before straightening up. "I told you, just leave it alone," she reminded him, her voice smooth.

Clint snorted in reply before getting up and moving out of the room.

* * *

Inhaling deeply, Loki's eyes were closed. Springing open, he realized that he was still in the larger room. Clint had left, as did Natasha and Tony. Steve looked up from the coffee machine across the room when Loki moved, and smiled kindly at him. Loki bowed his head back, catching uncertainty in the kind mans smile. He was not wanted here, and they would not tell him why.

Looking back up to Steve, he realized that Bruce and him were whispering by the coffee machine. Loki managed to catch bits of their conversation: "He hasn't made a noise since Thor told-" this was Bruce. "Yes, I understand, Steve, but - needs to be - slowly. It might be - much for him at once." Steve nodded, saying something in audible. "Yes, it would be - don't think Tony would - let alone Fury." Steve's lips pursed and he looked at the ground, his eyes searching the tile for something, his brow knit with concentration.

Thor was, Loki now saw, gone as well. Loki expected his brother to at least stay with him, considering his new - no, his long possessed - kinder, more caring ways.

Perhaps he considers me what he would not let me utter, Loki wondered. A monster. A disgrace. His head began to pain him at the thought. No - he was a loyal, true Asgardian. Wasn't he? Shaking his head as if throwing the thought from his mind, Loki looked back up. Bruce was wiping his hands on face, blatantly frustrated. Steve poorer the coffee into two mugs and handed one to Bruce, and started towards Loki. Loki quickly shook his head, and Steve stopped. Bowing his head to show thanks to the man for his gesture, Loki returned to his thoughts, silent. Steve lingered for a moment longer before returning to Bruce and taking a sip of the coffee himself.

"I know it's a long shot but this guy could - the help." Steve whispered. "We could at least try."

Bruce rested his forehead on the heel of his hand, leaning his elbow against the counter, and nodded exasperatedly. "I guess so," he said quietly. Standing back up, he looked at Loki and smiled slightly. "I will be right back, Loki. I need to talk to the others." Loki nodded, letting his eyes fall to his lap as Bruce left the room.

"So," Steve said, taking a seat in one of the chairs across from Loki. "How you holding up?" This man was so kind. Almost too kind, in a way. But Loki gave him a crooked smile anyways, his gaze not leaving his lap. "You haven't made a noise since Thor told you everything." He continued. "He's pretty worried about how you're taking it."

Loki shrugged. I'm fine, he gestured, waving a hand slightly. Steve's brow furrowed slightly.

"You haven't got to worry about how Thor feels about it all, you know? He hasn't stopped loving you and caring about you since he found out. I think he might even have started to care more, after how you reacted the first time" Steve patted Loki lightly on the shoulder.

Loki felt the urge to shrug the strangers hand away, but felt the slightest comfort by the gesture. He let his eyes meet Steve's, and smiled. Steve smiled back, not realizing how Loki feigned his acceptance.


	4. Myrkr

**Sorry about how short the chapters have been, guys. They might be like that for a while yet, cuz I'm still trying to get into the groove of this whole thing. I plan on the story being pretty long, so as we go along the chapters should get longer. If you like the short chapters though, tell me and I'll try to keep them at a medium length :3**

**I'm trying to update this as fast as I can, to get chapters out, and hopefully more readers, which means more feedback(I hope xD). I'm still really nervous as to how everyone will take to my writing, so any reviews on how to improve or what you like would be very much appreciated, and I'll try to reply to them all!  
-Raggedy Hunter**

* * *

_"Even a happy life cannot be without a measure of __**darkness**__, and the word happy would lose its meaning if it were not balanced by sadness. It is far better to take things as they come along with patience and equanimity." - Carl Jung_

* * *

_The feeling of falling had not yet come, but somehow, he knew it would._

_Loki found himself dangling of the Bifröst from a long, golden object. Looking up, he saw Thor, hanging onto Odin's hand as he tried to pull the both of them back up. Loki's eyes darted around, a snarl on his lips as his mind clouded itself with hate and anger. No fear, Loki noticed, only the rage and contempt he now felt towards his false family. Loki felt his grip loosen as Thor yelled something to him. Loki could no longer hear him though, and his hand just... Let go._

_His face became paler than usual, and entirely devoid of emotion. His stomach lurched as he fell, but a sense of total calm came over him. He fell further and further away from Asgard, and could hear Thor yelling to him. But he did not understand. Loki's mind was flatlining, so calm that he didn't even register his thought to end it. To willingly die. And he continued to fall into the never ending abyss of space._

* * *

Steve's mouth was pulled to one side, listening to his teammates bicker in the room. Glancing over to a monitor that showed Loki's room, he saw Thor sitting on the metal stool next to Loki's bed, slumped over. Whether or not he was sleeping, Steve couldn't be sure from the blurred image. He could, however, see how Loki violently shook and twitched in his bed. His brow furrowed, wondering what Loki was remembering that caused him so much obvious pain. At the mention of his name, though, Steve was snapped back to the conversation at hand.

"Hey, Cap," Tony snapped his fingers in front of Steve's face. "You there buddy?"

Steve pulled back from the table slightly, but regained his composure quickly and cleared his throat. "What is it?"

Tony rolled his eyes with emphasis. "Have you been spaced out this entire time?" He asked, his voice gruff with irritation.

"Sorry, I was just thinking. So what's been happening?" Steve asked, his voice a bit tired.

Tony groaned, but Bruce piped up next to Clint. "We proposed the idea for Loki to Tony. And it went about as well as I hoped."

"It's a stupid idea," Tony said bluntly. "There's no way we're going to let him near my tower again, let alone New York. What were you even on when you thought of that-"

"We were thinking that we could help him better," Steve said, rather irked at how Tony was willing to toss their teammates brother to the side so quickly, when the guy still had a chance.

"Tony, think about it." Banner spoke again. "Loki remembers nothing from the past six years. If we take care of this the right way, we might be able to really help him for the better."

Natasha raised a doubtful eyebrow before Clint spoke up.

"From a doctors perspective, sure, it would be good. But I honestly doubt that anyone else in any of these damn realms would agree." He growled slightly. "He's attacked New York twice. Twice. Countless people died, Bruce. I killed some of them," his voice caught slightly, "and I'm gonna say that no one is too keen on helping the bastard."

Steve sighed, a little disheartened. Clint was right; he didn't know why he had expected any of them to jump at the idea. Or why he had thought it was a good one in the first place.

Bruce rubbed the heels of his palms against his eyes and placed his glasses back onto his nose. "Look," he began, "I know none of you want to do this. I'm pretty hesitant about the idea myself. But think about it. If we do at least _try_ to get Loki onto the right track, do you know how many problems we would be getting out of the way? No more attacks on New York, or Earth, for that matter. We'd be eliminating a threat, a hell of a big one at that, so... Just consider it, alright? I can't blame any of you for deciding against it, I understand, but just think about the pros, okay?" Bruce's eyes drifted across all of them, stopping on Tony.

Stark groaned again, rolling his eyes. "Alright, I'll think about it. But I'm making no promises. And remember, it's up to Fury in the long run, so don't get your hopes up about anything. Because I doubt he's going to be willing to let Loki out of S.H.I.E.L.D. anytime soon."

They all fell silent, having nothing to add.

* * *

_He did not know how he got to this barren moon. How long he had been there. How such terrible creatures had come to existence. But it was dark, he was hurt, and he had to get away. That was all Loki knew, all he could think. A sudden pain over took him as one of the creatures stepped on his already damaged back. Loki choked back a cry as their foot twisted quickly and they rolled him to face up at them. The Chitauri had grey skin, and tiny, pale eyes. They're faces were, to Loki, grotesque and undesirable to look upon. He closed his green eyes, willing them to leave him be, to let him fall through space once more. But the Chitauri above him had now place a foot onto the young prince's chest, causing him to gag and choke for air. The Chitauri began to speak to him in a gravelly voice, but whether it was a language barrier or if his mind was too exhausted to understand, Loki was unsure. The white hot pain that coursed through his new injuries they had given him, along with the wait on his weakened chest burned immensely, and he prayed they would leave him there. To crawl away, back into space. But they did not._

_Loki began to catch parts of what the Chitauri was saying. To his understanding, the large one standing on him, trapping him, was named Thanos. The Chitauri around him jeered at the fallen prince, and Loki could not move away from the things they threw at him. A rock nicked him just above his eyebrow, and he winced as the pain shot through him._

_Whether from the pain, or if the Chitauri had managed to hit his head hard enough, Loki did not know. Or care. But he fell from consciousness, and blackness overtook him._

* * *

Thor jolted awake, sweating slightly and breathing heavy, as though he had just had a nightmare, but could not remember. He looked up, realizing where he had fallen asleep, and frowned. Loki was thrashing fitfully in his sleep, but Thor knew that he mustn't wake him, as Loki could use his rest, however fitful. His eyes fell on the metal bands the doctors had placed on Loki's wrists, withholding his brothers magic.

"As a precaution," they had told him when he came in the room about ready to throw the doctors into the wall for restraining his already weakened brother.

Sighing heavily, Thor stood from and began to walk towards the door. He had a feeling that Loki would not be waking any time soon, and so he decided to go and see where the others were.

When he reached for the door handle, he pulled back slightly upon hearing the click of the door unlocking. Behind the door was Clint, with bags under his eyes and an irritated look upon his face.

"Oh, good, you were already planning on leaving." Clint lifted his head to look at Thor. "Fury wants to talk at all of us. Or more, yell. However you want to describe it." He turned slowly, slumping slightly as he walked down the hall.

Thor caught up with him. "Have you just returned from an assignment, Barton?" Thor asked.

"How could you tell?" Clint asked without turning, a tired smirk on his face.

Thor resigned to silence as they made their way to the elevator.

Moments later, the door opened without making a sound. Clint and Thor stepped out, and began the walk to the larger meeting room. When they reached the door, no sound could be heard. However, the moment the door clicked open, the sound of Fury and Tony arguing hit Thor's ears.

"Bruce just thinks that he could help Reindeer Games better without S.H.I.E.L.D. breathing down all our necks!" Tony growled, two fingers pinching the bridge of his nose exasperatedly.

Agent Fury slammed a hand against the table, causing Thor to jump back slightly as he and Clint came closer to the table. Fury was facing away from Clint and Thor, and Tony hadn't seemed to notice that they entered.

"I don't care whether or not you can help him! Loki is an _abomination_, and he could rot away in S.H.I.E.L.D. headquarters until the day he _dies_ for all I care! He's done nothing but harm, so don't thin-"

Fury's words hitched as the breath was knocked out of him. Thor's arm was placed against Fury's neck, pinning him against the wall. Everyone in the room froze and fell silent.

Letting out shaking breaths, Thor looked Fury in the eye. "My brother has done you wrong, he has caused pain to Midgard, but he is my brother nonetheless, and he can be changed." Bruce took a step toward Thor, but did nothing more, as if afraid of what the god would do. "How _dare_ you plan to let him rot like a discarded meal." Thor released his arm from Fury's neck, and everyone could swear they saw the slightest hint of fear in Fury's apathetic façade. But they could never be sure, as he straightened his coat immediately. Thor turned sharply, and caught Tonys eyes. His friend's dark eyes looked rather shocked. An odd thing for Tony to show. He breathed heavily, trying to calm his anger, and leaned against the wall opposite of Fury. Agent Fury eyed him closely as he cleared his throat and turned back to the others.

Holding their gaze for a few silent moments, Fury cleared his throat again before speaking up again.

"Loki is not to leave S.H.I.E.L.D. headquarters." He turned to look at Thor. "_Ever_."

* * *

_He was still laying on the ground when he awoke. Loki lifted his head weakly, blinking crusted blood away from his eyes. As soon as he had awaken, he felt something sharp against his now bare chest. Thanos pressed it against his pale, bloodied skin, making Loki wince. Thanos leaned closer to Loki's face, his sour breath hitting the princes nose. Loki tried to turn away, but Thanos' four-fingered hand turned Loki's face back. Thanos said something, but Loki did not hear. He only clamped his green eyes shut, waiting for the knife that must be resting on his chest to plunge through him. But it did not._

_Instead of the searing pain that would come from a stab, Loki felt almost at peace for a moment. The moment faded. When Loki opened his eyes, he felt empty. As though half of his being had been taken from him. All that was left was the pain and rage and betrayal that had festered in his mind for far too long. His care and love that he still hid for his family (not family) was gone. Taken. Half of Loki was gone, and yet he still felt the slightest sense of peace behind the veil of putrid hate._

_When Loki opened his eyes, had a mirror been in front of him on the darkened moon, he would have seen that the green in his iris' had been replaced. Swapped for the palest shade of blue._

_When Loki opened his eyes, he felt nothing but hatred. A fuel strong enough to allow his broken mind to follow what he was told by those who stole him._

* * *

Thor looked more sad than angry, now, as he watched Loki's thrashing and worried face suddenly become calm and devoid of any emotion but anger. Thor now knew what his brother had been dreaming of, and his throat tightened at the thought.


	5. Forvitni

**Alright so the way I write, for this story at least, a few chapters will focus on one of the characters, the next few on another. The first four were about Loki, and all of his memories and everything, so the next few will be about Natasha. The chapter chunks will more or less be focused on these two, but there will be a few about the others, too, of course. Can't leave them out! I'm just mentioning this so no one will be like "wait I thought" no shh don't worry xD  
-Raggedy Hunter**

* * *

_"First love is only a little foolishness, and a lot of __**curiosity**__." - George Bernard Shaw_

* * *

Two days passed. Loki still slept, twitching and thrashing as he did. Natasha couldn't help but wonder what he had been remembering the held him in such a long sleep. Nearly two weeks he had been out. She noticed that he looked as though in constant pain and anger. _But that wasn't unexpected, based on his past_, she decided.

Tapping her long fingernails on the metal table rhythmically, Natasha narrowed her eyes as the monitor showed Loki letting out a pained cry. The screens had no sound, however; Loki's cries went unnoticed by the others. Even Thor, who was preoccupied on the phone with, Natasha assumed, Jane Foster. He looked sad, but still smiling as he spoke to her about the current events.

Clint was slumped back in his seat, eyes closed. Poor guy had been sent out on countless missions ever since Loki arrived at S.H.I.E.L.D.. Natasha guessed it was so he wouldn't try to kill Loki when no one was looking, as most people assumed Clint would. Her blue eyes drifted over to Stark and Banner, who were sitting next to each other discussing something in hushed voices. And then there was Steve. Always out of place, Natasha almost felt bad for him if it weren't for the way he held himself. He never seemed afraid to show that he didn't know, was proud when he did, and was always selfless and kind to anyone he met. A true 1940's gentleman if Natasha ever saw one.

She turned back to the monitor, jumping slightly when she saw Loki's eyes shoot open. He began seizing, grabbing at air as if he couldn't breath or see. "Guys," she said, calling attention to the screen.

Thor looked up, and stood, nearly dropping the phone. "What's wrong?" He said, his voice slightly higher at the sight of his pained brother. Thor looked about ready to use Mjölnr to fly to Loki's room.

Natasha eyed the monitor closely. No doctors came to the room like they normally would. She suspected that after two days of zero activity from the sleeping god, they had begun to slack on their responsibilities. As the S.H.I.E.L.D medics seemed to do with most situation lasting longer than a week. She scoffed and began walking towards the door, followed closely by Bruce and Thor. Steve trailed a few paces behind, and Tony and Clint reluctantly stood and came after them. Cramming into the elevator, Natasha pressed the button to Loki's floor. Within seconds the doors opened, and she stepped into the hall, her heels clicking on the tile.

The clunky footsteps of the others sounded behind her. Pressing the proper keys into Loki's room, the door unlocked, and they all slipped inside. Thor rushed ahead, Bruce trailing behind him. Natasha and Steve approached slower. At the sight of them Loki lashed out, smacking the air, but staying on the bed. His eyes looked distant and afraid. _Are you still dreaming?_ Natasha wondered, narrowing her eyes at him as he squirmed beneath his brothers grip.

Suddenly, Loki's head turned slightly and his eyes locked onto Natasha. He made gagging noises as he tried to escape from something, someone. _True fear,_ Natasha noted, _what really happened to you?_

As Thor held him in place, Bruce injected him with what Natasha could only guess was some sort of calming drug. Her assumption was proven correct as Loki's swings at the air became sluggish, his eyes drooping, until he eventually lay limp on the bed. Steve took a small step forward, unsure if this was the reaction Bruce wanted out of Loki. She looked at Bruce's face, then at Loki's limp body, Natasha raised an eye brow, wondering how much sedative it took to take out a god.

"Oh, did ya kill 'em?" Clint asked behind her, an angry, snarky tone in his voice. Thor turned sharply to the archer, who then raised his hands as if in surrender. "It's a valid question. The guys barely breathing."

Thor looked back down at Loki, new panic stricken across his face. "Why wouldn't he-"

"He's fine," Bruce said quietly, examining the monitors that Tony had just pulled up. "Just in shock."

Thor let out an exasperated sigh, gently placing his brothers arms against his pale sides. He took two fingers and gently closed his eyes, putting Loki back into his deep sleep.

"How long does this guy plan to be out for?" Tony said, cocking his head as he sauntered over.

Bruce shrugged, checking to make sure the sedative hadn't done any harm to Loki's status.

The room was silent for a few moments. Natasha stared at Loki, his head still turned towards her, a calm but pained look still etched into his pale features. His fingers resumed twitching, but he no longer tossed and turned as he slept. She was quite surprised that he and not yet fallen off the small bed. Her blue eyes narrowed at the prince. Earths sworn enemy. How curious it was, to see him lying so still and calm, when all Natasha had seen of him was his brash, rage-stricken ways. _How curious, indeed._

She turned when the door opened once more. Two of S.H.I.E.L.D.'s doctors came in, stopping when they saw the Avengers all there.

"Took you long enough," Clint scoffed, a hand wrapped gently around his bow.

The doctors looked at the ground, almost ashamed that they had been beaten at their own jobs, and silently left the room. Tony raised an eye brow at the door. "Great at their jobs, all of S.H.I.E.L.D. is, aren't they?" He gave a sarcastic smile as he turned to the door to leave. Clint stood up from his place against the white wall and followed. Steve took a moment, but left the room as well, leaving Natasha, Thor, Bruce with Loki. She could have forgotten he existed, he was so still now, had it not been for the beeping now coming from the heart monitor.

Thor practically fell into the metal stool, a sullen look on his face. "When will he awake?" He asked Banner quietly.

Bruce turned to Thor, a sympathetic look on his face. Exhaling softly, he told Thor that there was no telling how long Loki would be out. "Days more, possibly," Bruce said, sighing.

Thor looked up to Banner, then at Natasha. The look in the golden prince's eyes resembled that of a kicked puppy, and Natasha pretended as though she didn't notice Thor as her gaze slid back to Loki. He had been here for weeks, and yet she simply couldn't wrap her head around it all. In her gut, she felt as though Loki was putting on some sort of act for his convoluted plans. But seconds earlier, he had looked at her, through her, with nothing but fear and pain written across his entire being. None of this seemed... Plausible to her.

And yet, here she was, with Bruce and Thor, in S.H.I.E.L.D. headquarters, caring for the man who had tried to destroy everything they knew. _Twice_.

* * *

She sat with her back as straight as an arrow. The couch was stiff and uncomfortable, and had a musty smell that she imagined would be what most people describe as "old person" smell. Natasha's hands were folded carefully in her lap, and she stared out the window, deep in thought. The mission she returned from was, like the others as of late, absurdly simple. As if they were sending her away on simple errands. Her eyebrow twitched with irritation, not like the idea.

She and Clint had been working nonstop for the past three months, since Loki arrived. Only ever sent off on little tasks that an agent-in-training could accomplish with ease. Sighing quietly, she let her mind wander back into attention and remembered why she was on this stiff, old person couch. Gazing out the window, she stared down at the endless expanse that was New York City. It was rebuilt, thriving, and if it weren't for the large statue in the park a few blocks down, Natasha would have thought that Loki had never been here. But the monument stood, honoring those that Loki and the Chitauri took. Her stomach tightened slightly at the sight of the statue, towering tall, but almost entirely blank. Almost as if expecting more names were waiting to be added. Natasha knew it was entirely possible.

Behind her, the door flew open as Tony strode in, some piece of metal slung over his shoulder. Bruce followed, dodging the swinging metal as Tony turned to Natasha. His brown eyes examined the rest of the room, as if it was unfamiliar to him. It could very well be, though, considering that Stark Tower's residence consisted of Pepper and the Avengers (this was, for the most part, excluding Clint and Natasha, who often ended up falling asleep at S.H.I.E.L.D. headquarters rather than making their way to Stark Tower). Natasha doubted Tony had been on more than twenty floors of the colossal tower since it had been built.

"So... Where're the others? I told them to be here, right?" Tony asked, looking back to Natasha.

"I should hope so." She replied, nodding to Bruce as he sat down on the other end of the couch, grunting when he hit the stiff cushion.

"Man, I forgot I even had this room," Tony said, looking around with a disgruntled look, undoubtedly irritated at how bland the room was, compared to the rest of his tech savvy behemoth of a home. "JARVIS, did you make sure this dump is secure enough?"

The disembodied voice rang out immediately after Tony finished speaking. "Yes, sir, all safety measures where upgraded."

"Double check," Tony prompted, setting down the metal pole.

"Right away, sir." The walls began whirring, but it was barely noticeable as JARVIS worked on the room.

The door opened again, but not nearly as aggressively as Tony's entrance. Steve stepped through the door frame, greeting his team mates with a smile.

"Glad you could make it, Cap," Tony grunted, setting the pole against one of the walls.

"I am as well. What are you building, if I may ask?" Steve said, stopping to look at the metal contraption Tony was now setting up.

"You'll-" he grunted loudly, pushing a piece into place, "-see. Where's Archer?"

Bruce and Steve looked to Natasha, assuming she would know of his whereabouts. "I would assume he's finishing up a mission. If that's the case, it could be a while before he gets here."

"Probably not any longer than it'll take S.H.I.E.L.D. to get Point Break and Reindeer Games here. They're probably running them through all their crap procedures a few times over." Tony said, clapping his hands together as he plopped down on a stiff chair, wincing as he hit the unexpectedly hard bottom. "I have got to get better furniture for this room, Loki or not." He grumbled.

"Oh, this is where Loki is staying?" Steve looked around.

"It's pretty decent, considering the fact that he is Earth's Most Wanted." Tony said, stretching back. Steve nodded in agreement, seeming to examine the ceiling.

Natasha barely heard their conversation, deep in though. Bruce sat stock still next to her, but had not said a word since entering. She wondered if he was having the same thoughts as her, but it was highly unlikely.

_As is this entire situatio_n, Natasha reminded herself. She had barely begun to wrap her head around the fact that Loki seemed so innocent, that he really was unaware of most of things he had done. But now Director Fury had allowed them to have Loki in Stark Tower - had let Loki away from S.H.I.E.L.D.. And then there was Loki: he had begun to remember parts of his first attack on New York. And she was glad to see the monster (_if he's a monster, you're a demon, _the tiniest voice in the back of her mind screamed) in pain from his memories. Mental anguish remembering the things he did and went through. But she had watched him as Thor spoke to him in the white room, as his older brother accounted for the details Loki had failed to recall. And Loki had been sorry. He had begun to shake, and he looked so very, very afraid. At himself? Of what he feared Thor - or Odin - might do to the young prince? Natasha would never know, but she couldn't help but ponder the idea. The idea of Loki feeling bad, feeling wrong. That Loki had an ounce of heart and humanity in him. But wouldn't those things, misguided as they were, be what had pushed him to do the things he had done? He had these things all along... Didn't he?

Natasha was snapped back to the room as the door slammed open. Clint limped in, an ankle slightly swollen as he sat gingerly between Natasha and Bruce. Steve took a step forward, but Clint waved him away with a hand. "Just a little mishap," he growled, "it's not a big deal. Tasha," he said, nodding to her. She gave the slightest smile in response.

Tony shrugged before speaking up. "So now we just have to wait for those two, yeah?"

"Looks like it." Bruce stood, coming back with a wrap for Clint's ankle. After some debate between the two, Clint resigned, and Bruce quickly wrapped up the swollen wound.

A half hour passed before JARVIS spoke up again.

"Sir, three vehicles belonging to S.H.I.E.L.D have arrived."

"Thanks, buddy," Tony said, leaving the room to let them in. The others debated following, before silently agreeing it would be best to be in Loki's soon to be room until he got there.

Minutes passed. By the time twenty-five minutes had gone by, Clint was twitching apprehensively. Steve was pacing, Bruce's leg bobbed up and down as he stared at the door, his face in his hand. Natasha stared at the door; Tony had left it open, but no sound could be heard in the hall. Just as Natasha decided to check what was taking so long, she heard the elevator open, followed shortly by shouting. S.H.I.E.L.D. agents, four of them, surrounded Tony, Thor, and a panicked Loki as they made their way down the hall. Thor looked absolutely livid, his grip on Mjölnr so tight that his knuckles whitened. Bruce stood, following Natasha and Steve as they rushed to the door. Clint stayed put after Bruce warned him not to exert the ankle.

The S.H.I.E.L.D. agents backed off a mite when they saw two super soldiers and who they considered a beast coming towards them. Loki looked completely lost and out of it as he took stumbling steps forward, his green eyes sunken in and empty. Natasha stomach lurched at the site of him - he looked so bad suddenly... What had they done to him?

Steve came forward and helped Loki into the room. "What happened to him? He looks worse," Steve said, laying Loki down on the stiff couch. Barton had long since gotten up and stood painfully in the corner of the room, away from Loki. The princes arms were laying on his chest, as if in a coffin. _May as well be_, Natasha thought, surprised he was still alive. His naturally pale complexion was now sickly, nearly transparent. The blue veins showed through his skin, in his neck and bony hands. Bruce came up, kneeling next to him.

"He looks almost as if he's gone into shock," he commented quietly.

"Wouldn't doubt it, they've practically been throwing the bastard around the past few hours." Tony said before continuing to get the S.H.I.E.L.D. agents to stay on the first floor like originally planned. Natasha sighed, noting that most of them were newer agents, and even the more experienced ones were still lower levels. She had expected Director Fury to send in more experienced agents, but then remembered that he probably expected the six of them to take care of Loki, should he get out of hand.

"I'm starting to rethink this idea," Clint grumbled, eyeing Loki's stock still figure on the couch.

"You cant rethink something you never went with," Natasha gave a small smile when Clint looked at her, his mouth open to respond, but he closed it.

Thor kneeled down next to Bruce, taking his brothers pale hand in his own, trying to give him a reassuring shake. Loki gulped, glancing down at Thor. Natasha eyed him carefully. His eyes had depth to them, now. They had life, and feeling. Brimmed with emotion. This was the first time it ever struck her that Loki was a living being. _How curious_.

Loki hadn't said anything, that she had heard, since he remembered attacking Thor, and trying to kill himself. She supposed that left something dark, a black spot, on someone. Something that they felt they couldn't get rid of, whether they wanted to or not. It hurt him. She almost understood. She did not want to, and so Natasha brushed it away. She would not allow herself to feel the slightest understanding or emotion towards Loki. He was not to be trusted, no matter the situation.

* * *

Two days passed. Loki was stable, returned to his usual pale complexion, and Tony had replaced the furniture in the small room with newer, softer furniture. It all smelled new, without a trace of the dusted smell the old couches had. The metal contraption Tony had been setting up ended up just being a simple curtain around Loki's bed, that he apparently thought Loki would appreciate. She had not bothered to ask why he felt it necessary.

The S.H.I.E.L.D. agents now had the first two floors, guarding them to be sure that the prisoner - no, Loki - could not escape. As if he would try. As if he would be able to.

Bruce and Thor had spent most of the past two days in Loki's room. When Natasha walked by the closed door, she could hear someone sobbing. The voice behind the sobs sounded unfamiliar, and she could only assume it was Loki. But Bruce and Thor never spoke of what Loki told them, and she never asked.

_It's better that I don't know_, Natasha decided.


	6. Vidreign

**Hey guys! :D I might not be updating too often, only a chapter or two each week. Highschool takes a lot of work, so I have to get all of that done before I can work on Sætta, unfortunately. ;-; **  
**anyways, here is chapter 6! **  
**Also! If anyone is interested, PM me and I'll send you the list of songs that inspired this story :3 They're all really good songs, in my opinion, so PM me about those (or anything else, really!) and I'll reply super fast :3**  
**-Raggedy Hunter**

* * *

_"It is only at the first __**encounter**__ that a face makes its full impression on us." - Arthur Schopenhauer_

* * *

Natasha had not seen Loki since he had been brought to he tower several days ago. He had since been awake, and according to Bruce, unable to sleep. She passed his room often, as it was on her way to the other rooms (the room Tony had given her was at the end of the hall on one of the highest floors of Stark Tower, and now Loki was two rooms away from her. Clint was three rooms ahead of Loki, and Steve and Bruce were on the floor below. She was unsure where Thor was staying in the tower). Whenever she passed the room, behind the door it was either dead silence, or the softest of sobs. She now knew it was Loki for sure, as she had heard it in the middle of the night, when Thor and Bruce left Loki, and she woke up from a nightmare she could not recall.

Stumbling out of bed, she quickly dressed, straightened her clothes out, and made her way into the hall. Closing her door softly behind her, Natasha began taking fast, light steps. Not a sound could be heard below, above, or on her own floor. For a moment, she wondered whether anyone was here at all, but knew they would not leave Loki in the tower alone. They hardly left the tower when they didn't have a highly guarded prisoner as it was, but now they may as well be on lockdown along with Loki.

Her quick feet pulled her swiftly along the silent hall, and she made her way past Loki's door. Natasha couldn't help but bring herself to a halt, and backed up a few steps until she was in front of his door. She dared not knock, or open, or disturb him in any way. They had not been given instructions not to bother Loki, but they hadn't really needed any to keep away from him. Pressing an ear against the cold metal door, Natasha strained her ears. Silence. Letting out a soft breath, she began walking again. A mere seven steps were taken before she froze again. A door behind her clicked open, and she whirled around to confront the sudden movement. Stopping dead in her tracks, Natasha stared as Loki opened the door and began to leave his room.

His eyes were almost alive in a way, but still hollowed out. As if he had been drained of any feelings he had, yet still retained them. His vacant green eyes drifted to Natasha's blue as he turned to walk down the hall. He froze as well, nearly taking a step back. His head lowered, and his gaze fell to the cold floor.

_Is he... Bowing?_

Natasha eyed him carefully. He lifted his eyes again, unmoving, and dropped them immediately when he saw her staring at him.

"What are you doing?" Natasha said, a slight growl in her tired voice. His lips parted ever so slightly, and a small breath escaped. It sounded as though he was saying something. "What?" Natasha took a step closer, and Loki flinched slightly.

He gulped, looked up at her again, and spoke so quiet she could barely hear him. "I'm sorry," he choked out.

Natasha stopped moving. Her eyes narrowed. Had she heard right? _No. This is Loki,_ she reminded herself. This is part of his little ploy.

He let out a small breath before straightening up again and taking a step forward. "I wish to see Thor." His voice was small, almost like a birds. His eye brows were raised as if in worry, and his green eyes gazed into hers with such uncertainty that she almost forgot who he was. _Is_, she corrected herself. _Who he still is. Always will be._ The bitter thought clouded her mind.

"I'm sure he and Dr. Banner will be here to see you soon." She said, swallowing as she gathered herself.

Loki bit his lip, nodding carefully. Eyeing her for a second longer, he let his gaze fall as he turned back into his darkened room. The door closed softly, and Natasha waited. She knew not how long, but when she finally stilled her racing heart (this was the man who had threatened to kill her countless times, nearly succeeding half of them), she again placed her ear against the cold door.

At first silence. But then she listened longer. Listened harder. And she heard shuddering breaths. Small squeaks between each. Natasha could somehow imagine the tall god hunched over himself in a ball, his bony fingers wrapped in his hair, in a feeble attempt to pull his own thoughts out.

She thought she almost understood. She did not want to.

Natasha made her way past the other doors, opened Clint's, and when he finally got up, they went to the floor above to meet with the others. Clint had his bow in tow, Natasha had her racing thoughts.

He can't change. He's too far gone. _Isn't he? Yes, too far gone._

* * *

Clint was seated at the kitchen island, a hot mug of coffee in his hand. It slowly eased his constant sleeplessness, and he took another sip. The seat beneath him was strangely comfortable, as if made for him. Looking up, he noticed that Thor had since come into the kitchen, and was leaning against the counter across from Clint. His face was ashen, exhausted, (likely from lack of sleep, out of worry for Loki. It baffled Clint that Thor even still cared for his adopted little brother) and he stared at the corner of the marble counter, as if unaware of his surroundings.

Natasha sat on the left of Clint, a coffee mug fit snuggly in between her hands. It remained untouched as she examined a speckle on the countertop. She had not spoken since they got to the kitchen, except to tell Pepper that she "doesn't need coffee. No, really, I'm fine." before giving up, telling Pepper how she liked it, and thanking her. Now she sat, slightly slumped, next to Clint. He eyed her, wanting to ask what was wrong, but she never told him about her nightmares. Not once had she let him know what haunted her in the night. He wasn't sure he really wanted to know.

Tony came into the kitchen now, nodding to Thor, Tasha, and Clint, and pecking Pepper's cheek with a kiss before taking an energy drink out of the fridge and downing it in three gulps. He turned to them, and narrowed his dark eyes. "Where's the capsicle and jolly green?" He asked, leaning forward to peer down the hall. "They're usually the first to be wandering around."

"Maybe they're actually getting some sleep," Pepper said, "like you should."

Tony looked at her and said something quietly, which from what Clint could hear, sounded like, "you know I can't," to which Pepper said "I know," softly before giving him a small smile. Tony kissed the top of her head. Clint had been the only one to notice the out-of-character exchange Tony just shared, as Thor and Natasha were still stock still and silent.

Steve came through the door then, greeting everyone by name. Pepper smiled and offered to make him coffee (Steve declined, as always), Tony told him it was about time, Thor gave a curt nod, not letting his eyes leave the corner of the counter, and Natasha looked up, startled at the sound of her name.

"Mm? Oh, good morning," she said, offering a small smile to Steve before returning to the speckled counter. Clint looked at Steve and raised a hand in greeting, and Steve took a seat next to Clint.

Clint was unaware of how long they all sat in silence before Bruce came in, giving them all quiet greetings before leaning next to Thor and talking to him in a hushed whisper. Tony interrupted them after a few minutes of what he probably deemed to be too much quiet.

"Are we going to learn what we missed with Rock of Ages anytime soon, or...?"

Thor glanced at Bruce, as if asking if he should say, and continued after getting a small nod. Taking a deep breath, Thor began.

"After Loki... Fell from the Bifröst, he told us, Banner and I, that he fell through space. He does not know how long he was in silence and isolation." Tony furrowed his brow, looking at the ground as Thor spoke. "At some point, he met the Chitauri. He does not know how he came to be with them, but it's fair to say that his experience with them was... Unpleasant. To say the very least"

"Likewise," Clint scoffed. Thor looked up from the ground at him, biting his lip before going on.

"They, the Chitauri had tortured him. I cannot begin to understand the horrors he went through under their order."

"I'm not sure Loki is able either," Bruce chimed in now. "He seemed very lost and distant when he told us about it. I don't think he told us even half of it before he-"

"They do not need to hear of his weakness, it's-" Thor was cut off now.

"No, no, do tell," Clint said, adjusting himself in his seat. Thor and Bruce both opened their mouths to object before Natasha spoke up.

"He's been crying." Everyone turned to look at her. Natasha shifted uncomfortably in her seat as all eyes set on her. "I can hear him, whenever I walk by his room. He does, a lot."

Thor hung his head. "Yes, that he has."

"He usually does before he can finish telling us what he remembered, which I guess is understandable. It all seemed enough to kill someone. I'm just confused as to why it didn't affect him this badly the first time." Bruce rubbed the back of his head.

Thor sighed before speaking up again. "He told me something after you had left, Banner. I can't be certain, but... I believe it may be what caused his previous actions." Everyone looked up now, eyebrows raised. "He told me that, the Chitauri had been torturing him, and one day, they finally stopped. But then they asked him to do something for them, something he can't remember as of yet. But he said he refused, and they hurt him again. Loki said that from there, there is a patch of missing memory, but after that..." Thor's voice trailed off.

"After that...? C'mon Goldilocks, we gotta know all of it." Tony said, leaning back against the fridge, now looking up.

Thor took another deep breath before continuing. "He said that he felt something on his chest. He is unsure of what it was." Clint felt himself stiffen slightly, almost knowing what was to come without consciously realizing. "Loki told me that he felt his will, his entire being, simply leave him." _Impossible. No,_ Clint's breathing hitched, and he shook his head slightly. "After that, he has not remembered much, except meeting us, and," Thor looked up at Natasha, "threatening us." Her jaw set to the side, and she looked back down, now judging her coffee mug.

Silence. Clint glanced around, and realized they were all looking at him. "What?" he said, a bit gruffer than he had expected.

"Do you think it was the same thing that Loki had done to you?" Bruce said, clearing his throat.

A lump grew in Clint's throat. He shook his head, closing his eyes. Taking a deep breath, and shoving the memories into the back of his mind, Clint opened his eyes. His knuckles had turned white from how hard he was clutching his coffee mug. Flinching when Natasha placed a hand on his shoulder, Clint exhaled heavily. "His eyes weren't blue when he attacked. Mine were. It can't be the same thing, then, right?"

"Hadn't he said that it affected everyone differently, though?" Bruce furrowed his brow. "It might not have changed his eyes as drastically as it had yours and Dr. Selvig's."

"That, and he's not even human," Tony grunted, lifting himself away from the fridge to reach inside, gulping down another energy drink. The sun had begun to rise, now.

Shaking his head again, Clint sighed. "I guess it is... possible, then," he muttered reluctantly, taking a last sip of his coffee before getting up and leaving the kitchen. He rubbed the back of his head as he made his way down the hall. Stopping, he leaned against the wall, trying to suppress the memories that still haunted him. Six years later, and he couldn't forget their faces, fellow agents. Dead. Because of him. _Because of Loki_.

* * *

_Six years since Loki had attacked the first time. And here he was again. Alone this time, no allies. His eyes were crazed, he limped, and he was willing to kill them all. Loki no longer had the desire to rule Earth. His only intention was now to kill the Avengers, who had forsaken him so long ago._

_Natasha felt the air get knocked out of her lungs as she hit the ripped up New York street. The civilians had been evacuated, and it was only empty buildings for miles. They fought him in the center of New York City, but they were quickly losing against the savage god. He cared not who he hit, or how, or with what. All that mattered to him now was disposing of them._

_She hoisted herself up onto one elbow, her eyes closed tight as she tried to swallow down the pain. Natasha's head throbbed, and she couldn't feel her left ankle. Looking down at it, she saw that Loki had twisted her as he picked her up and threw her. Looking up, blinking away the dust and rubble that collected in the air, Natasha saw Clint running along the tops of cars and raised chunks of the road. She called out to him, but could not even hear herself through the noise. She saw him draw back his bow and shoot. Following the trail of the arrow, Natasha swallowed hard when she saw that Loki had caught it and threw it back at Clint with the same force as the bow had. She saw him open his mouth in a cry of pain as the arrow sunk into his shoulder, only inches away from his heart. He fell on top of the car he had perched on, and that was the last Natasha had seen of him before seeing a flash of light fly from Loki's hand that hit a familiar red and gold suit, nearly knocking it out of the air. Stark raised his hands, rapid firing projectiles at Loki. She saw Loki's face contort with rage as he fired back, hunching slightly as the attacks blew him back. Natasha watched the short lived battle before Tony was knocked out of the air. His mask flew off as he hit the ground and rolled. Landing only ten feet away from Natasha, he let out a cry as he hit the ground. He looked up at her, and Natasha saw the fear and panic in his eyes that she knew only Pepper had seen. She could see his hands trembling horribly as he cradled the side of his now bloodied face, and had it not been for the noise, she would have heard his shaking breaths._

_Calming herself, Natasha tried willing herself to stay awake, to get up and help. Tony's face became blurry, and the broken cityscape became a mass of dark grey. The noise began to echo, and finally, Natasha's head hit the pavement again. She could hear for seconds longer in the pitch black, but it all went silent._

* * *

_His head rung with anger. Fury, nearly blinding him. He was here, and he had only one reason. He no longer cared to rule Midgard, only to dispose of the wastes who had humiliated, trapped, degraded him. They would be no more. Nothing but vague memories of their "shield" and Earth, and what few mortals would care to remember them from time to time._

* * *

She paused outside of the door to his room, her grip tight on the tray that Bruce had asked her to carry for him. Thor was sleeping, and since Natasha was the closest to Loki's room (aside from Clint, who none would bother with the task), she had to carry the food that Bruce would bring Loki each day, while he carried a few papers and other things that Natasha hadn't cared to notice. He opened the door - left unlocked, she noticed with a stiff jaw - and opened it wide, stepping in. She followed silently, and slid the tray of food onto the smooth marble counter.

The room was dim, as the shades were shut, and the only light that had been left on was a small, musty looking lamp that Tony must have forgotten to get rid of when he updated the room. Natasha's eyes drifted from the lamp to the couch, and she stiffened when she saw Loki's short black hair resting against the back of the couch, facing away from the door. He was wearing the loose jeans and slim, long sleeved grey t-shirt that Tony had provided for him. Peering over the couch slightly, she saw the sleeves pulled slightly over his hands, held in place over his thumbs, as he absently played with his fingers. She stepped forward, again following Bruce after picking the tray up again. As they rounded the couch, Natasha placed the tray on the coffee table in front of Loki and stood stiffly, eyeing him as he blankly stared ahead. Natasha could see his pale lips moving slightly, but could hear no sound, nor could she make out any English words, and assumed that he was speaking whatever language they used on Asgard, if there was a specific one, to himself.

Bruce clicked a brighter lamp on, and Loki flinched, panic ebbing into his green eyes. He looked up, eyes widening slightly when he realized that the two of them had entered the room. Bruce took a seat on a chair to one side of the coffee table as Loki calmed slightly, and motioned for Natasha to sit on the other chair, but she shook her head stiffly, not taking her eyes off of Loki. He returned her gaze, a look of mixed fear and concern filling his eyes. Bruce spoke first, breaking the silence.

"Loki, Thor will be here later today, but he is busy at the moment (_sleeping his ass off_, Natasha almost snorted). Is that alright?"

Loki let his gaze break from Natasha and turned to Bruce. He blinked slowly, which was apparently a response.

"Alright," Bruce continued. "If you aren't ready, you don't have to talk to me-us-" he corrected himself, "but it would be better for you to talk." Bruce's voice was very calm and understanding towards the man who had tried to kill them not even three months earlier. Natasha narrowed her eyes slightly, but knew he was only doing his job.

Loki swallowed hard, glancing down at his covered hands, and continued picking absently at the sides of his long fingers. Swallowing a second time he looked back up at Bruce.

"I haven't... Remembered anything else." Natasha flinched at Loki's sudden words, but stared at him with plain curiosity anyway. His voice was now small, meek, and not a trace of poison in his tone. It was not that he had spoken that had made her flinch, but rather the fact that this Loki sounded nothing like the one she had grown to hate, that they had all learned to despise with their very beings. This was an entirely different person, damaged as all of the souls in hell, and yet, so innocent and calm and soft spoken.

_Who were you?_ Natasha couldn't help but ask herself. _What could've possibly changed you so horribly?_ Not even her own ledger had driven her so mad, so far, so quickly. It did not leave her clean and kind and normal, sure, but she had carried it with her almost her entire life, and had yet to snap. But had Loki snapped? Had he been this way before his first attack on Earth, or was it simply the current circumstance that made him seem to be different?

This was perhaps her tenth face to face encounter with the god, and yet, she realized, it may be her first time _seeing_ him.

As Loki and Bruce spoke softly, his green eyes never leaving his hands, Natasha slowly took a seat in the chair on the opposite side of the coffee table. She watched him and Bruce, and listened, and eventually was shocked into silence when Loki began to break down again.


	7. Saklauss

**Hey guys! Sorry I haven't updated in awhile, I've had a lot of school work. And I've been working a few chapters ahead of this to try and get into an update schedule. While it may be a few more chapters before I get on said schedule, I am working on it! :D**  
**Also, I hope everyone is enjoying this so far ^-^**  
**-Raggedy Hunter**

* * *

_"A clear and __**innocent**__ conscience fears nothing." - Elizabeth I_

* * *

When the sun rose, Natasha was already awake.

She always was, and knew Clint was as well. But their silent agreement kept them from bothering each other until more "decent hours". They both knew why they were awake so early, and had been for many hours before the sun would rise, and so they stayed away. While Natasha knew that perhaps it would be nice to have some company when she woke up from a stiff and fearful night, curled up in a tight ball like a fist, she appreciated the solitary silence that she didn't always get, now that she lived in the Avengers tower.

It had been about two weeks, if Natasha had been properly keeping track of the days, since she had been with Bruce in Loki's room. After she had been there, and she had seen him in the state he was in, she no longer heard him behind the silvery door. Not that she actively listened for him, but when she passed by, it was always silent.

She had to admit, though, she was curious. About Loki, really. Still weary and mistrusting of him, as were the rest of the tower's residence, but curious nonetheless. After all, they were all seeing what had driven him mad in the first place. What had set him off so that he simply couldn't take it anymore. And had it not been for her experience with the aggresive, loathing side of Loki, Natasha would say that she could see how it had put him off the way it had. But she had seen him at his worse, so she said nothing, and simply sat on the large bed Stark had bestowed upon her. Pushing down the thoughts that had woken her up yet again. A daily routine she was used to.

* * *

Clint lay stiff on the mattress. His back pained him slightly, but the ache was dulled as he lay there thinking.

Woken up by the all too familiar nightmare he had been having since the battle in New York (he noticed that he was having the dream less now, but still too often to give comfort). His jaw twitched at the thought of it all. Controlled, and yet so wiling. S.H.I.E.L.D. agents, friends, _gone_. And while Natasha argued that he hadn't been able to help it, that it was Loki's control, Clint knew better. He had seen it all, felt it all, firsthand. He was controlled, but what he had done was all willing. He had willingly taken the arrows from the quiver, wilingly drawn his bow, and... He shook his head slowly, closing his eyes again. The dull light of the rising sun shown faintly through his eye lids.

Half of him was too sore, too tired both physically and mentally, to even consider moving. But the other half still played the nightmare he woke up from over and over, urging him to get up, walking down the hall, and get rid of the abomination that likely rested peacefully in his dark room, feigning his disability. But Clint listened to the former half, and stayed on the soft mattress, willing the ache of his memory to leave him be for perhaps an hour more.

* * *

The curtains had been drawn, shutting out the night life that humans seemed to adore so much. Shutting out the sun that now peeked above the endless city. The room was dark, almost pitch black, had it not been for the glowing device in the corner, displaying symbols that changed every time he looked over to it. At the moment, it showed "5:56". It meant nothing to him, and Loki wondered what the point of the object could be.

This had been how he chose to busy himself, instead of dwelling on the memories, as Bruce had warned him against. Not exactly what Bruce had told him, Loki assumed, but he had been distancing himself from anything to do with the memories at that moment. So he hadn't caught the full instructions from the man. But it did not matter. He was as content as he could be in this situation, simply observing the object around this room that Midgard's inhabitants apparently used on a daily basis.

Loki had not slept in days. He hadn't needed to, really. It was rare that he would need to sleep at all. But this was more a case of not wanting to. He would not say this, however.

In fact, Loki would say nothing. To anyone except Bruce, who seemed intent on helping Loki for some strange reason, despite the uneasy feeling they both knew they got around each other. And to Thor, although his conversations with his brother were fleeting. Thor would visit each day, but the length of each visit became increasingly short. Loki did not mind, though. The solitude was, although familiar and all too comfortable, helpful to him. He could think. He had time to think, to figure things out, little by little, and decide how to... Handle it.

This was something Loki did not want to have to do. That he wished was unnecessary. He also wished that maybe this all fake, all a strange, horrible dream. That he would wake back in Asgard, with his brother and their friends. _Thor's friends_, he corrected himself bitterly, once again recalling the past events.

By the time the device read "6:42", Loki felt drained, despite having only been sitting on the bed thinking. But he pushed himself onto his feet and went over to the drapes. He grabbed them, ready to pull them open, but paused. _Maybe I shouldn't._ He shook his head. _Don't be ridiculous. It doesn't matter._ Loki took a deep breath and slowly pulled the curtains open. The sun filtered into the dark room, lighting it up with a soft glow. The pit in Loki's stomach became lighter with the room, and he closed his eyes, taking in the warmth and the light. The golden-orange sky almost made him feel at ease. Almost.

* * *

Natasha had slipped passed Clint's room at around 6:40. She hadn't been paying attention to where her feet had been taking her, but when she came back to attention, she stood in the doorway to the large kitchen. At this time of the day, no one was ever in the kitchen, but just as Natasha began to take a step forward, she noticed the figure leaning against the counter.

Thor was leaned forward slightly, against the edge of the sink, staring out the window. He seemed to not notice her, but the subtle turn of his head told Natasha that he had heard her. It was too late to back out of the room and try again later without Thor thinking that they were all avoiding him, too nervous or too unsure of what to say to him. Not only because of their current situation, but despite having worked together over the past six years, none of them except Clint and Natasha knew each other very well. They had nothing to say to each other, and being in a room together often had silences that lasted too long to be comfortable.

Natasha slipped into the kitchen, quietly making a cup of coffee after offering Thor a light smile, which he returned with a rather sad one. Natasha leaned against the fridge, sipping the hot drink. She felt as though she should say something, but Thor spoke before she could think of anything.

"He was always so frightened as a child." His brow furrowed slightly as he gazed down at the metallic sink.

Natasha looked up, startled at the sudden break in silence. "Sorry?"

"Loki," Thor glanced up. "He was, well, timid, to say the least. But so kind." Thor gave Natasha a broken smile. "Always so kind and... Forgiving. Even to those who looked down upon his practicing of magic, and his choice to stay in and learn rather than spar."

Natasha blinked at Thor. _Why are you telling me this?_

As of reading her thoughts, Thor gave a light chuckle, "I suppose this doesn't really matter now. But it's nice to remember, to talk about it."

She gave a halfhearted "yeah" in response, unsure for once, on how to respond.

"I just think that... I wish that maybe... If I had just shown him. How much I cared for him, that I always loved him, that I still do. That..." His voice choked, and he trailed off.

Slightly taken aback, Natasha stared at the mug in her hands. "Well, maybe now he understands that you did. Do." She glanced up at him and back to her mug.

"I can only hope, Agent Romanov." His smile faded as his gaze returned to the window.

Pausing for seconds that felt like hours, Natasha finally spoke up. "Thor?"

He turned back to her, an eyebrow raised. "Yes, Agent Romanov?"

"Tell me about Loki. Before... Everything happened."

Thor seemed grateful at Natasha's request, as he recalled his fondest memories of a younger trickster. Natasha found herself almost wishing that she had grown up as the two brothers had, with a happy childhood. An innocent, pristine childhood. But hearing the stories, she couldn't help but wonder how, with so many fond memories, Loki had ended up the way he did. When Thor looked away, she scrunched her nose slightly. _It doesn't... Seem right._

"You know, Loki always had a fondness for Midgard." Thor continued, turning back to her. Natasha raised a skeptical eye brow, and Thor gave a raspy laugh. "Hard to believe, yes, but he did. When we first visited, with our father, Loki found such beauty here. He truly loved the wonders that Midgard held that even Asgard did not possess."

Natasha blinked, trying to imagine Loki as a child with wonder across his face. It was almost an image in her brain, but she couldn't quite grasp it.

* * *

As far as Tony was concerned, having Loki here changed nothing. He didn't see the guy (not that he wanted to; the possibility of anxiety attacks was still too great), he didn't hear the guy (his voice was always too... Unsettling, so this was fine with him), and he most certainly didn't ask much about him. His progress was Tony's business of course, his tower and all, plus he agreed to this (though still not sure how or why). But Tony couldn't help but avoid Loki like the plague. He didn't even go to that floor anymore, or the two floors above and below, if he could help it. So maybe it changed that. But nothing else.

Raising his eyes from his current project, Tony jumped at realizing it was morning. Pepper would be pissed. He sighed, rubbing his hands across his face, smearing it further with oil and dirt. Pushing his chair back, Tony let out a sigh and stood. Exiting the lab, he stumbled to a stop. Bruce stopped abruptly, nearly running into Tony. "I was just about to see if you were in there," he said, smiling as a greeting. Tony nodded his head and offered Bruce a tired smile. Pushing his glasses further up his nose, Bruce said, "Tony, you ought to get some sleep. You've been hiding away in the lab for days."

"I have been sleeping, Bruce," Tony said, yawning. He opened his eyes suddenly and looked at Bruce sternly. "And I am not hiding away Bruce. I don't hide in my own house. Or anywhere." Tony made a point to straighten himself and stiffen his jaw, but Bruce only gave a half hearted scoff.

"Tony, I get it. I do." Bruce said, and Tony gave him a sidelong glance. "The nightmares? I know you have them. We all do."

Tony pinched the bridge of his nose, inhaling sharply. "Can we not-" he started quietly, but Bruce kept talking.

"Loki," Tony felt himself stiffen slightly at the name, "Is getting better, not completely, but he has changed from how he was. He shouldn't be a problem anymore. You don't have to worry about him. You do have to sleep though." Tony's breath was quickening when Bruce put his hand on his shoulder. "Hey," he said, giving him a small shake. "Tony? Calm down, it's just us." Tony let out a shaky breath, nodding as the sick feeling began to fade. "But Tony, you haven't slept in days, or had much except coffee."

Tony let out a sigh, keeping his eyes closed for a second longer. "All... Alright. Alright."

Tony reluctantly followed Bruce as he led the way to the kitchen. They rounded the corner, and Tony almost ran into Bruce again when his friend stopped short. Tony nearly let out a remark before looking up and feeling his stomach flip and his face pale.

Loki's eyes were fixed on the ground, and Thor was speaking to him quietly. Natasha was seated at the island, and Tony could see her hand placed firmly on the gun strapped to her leg. Bruce unfroze suddenly and offered a greeting, making everyone else in the room jump. Loki's eyes locked onto Bruce and Tony for a moment before he swiftly looked back at the tile flooring. Thor placed a large hand on Loki's shoulder, but Loki only turned his head away, clenching his eyes shut. Thor frowned.

"It's... Nice... To see you, uh, about, Loki," Bruce said, his voice faltering slightly on the name. Loki swallowed, not taking his eyes away from the ground this time. It took Tony a moment, but he finally raised his hand in a half hearted greeting. But he could feel his pulse speeding up with each second.

"Hey, uh, Bruce, I have to go and..." Tony trailed off when Bruce turned his head to him, an almost pleading look in his eyes. Tony closed his mouth, setting his jaw to the side in a silent rebellion. Opening the fridge, Tony pulled out an energy drink, but it was suddenly gone and back in the fridge before he could blink. He gave Bruce a look, and saw that he was shaking his head.

"Proper food, Tony." He said quietly. They were both aware that Thor, and probably Loki, were staring at them. Natasha was set on watching their guest, though. Tony flinched as a muffin - blueberry, it looked like - and a mug of coffee were thrust at him. He looked down at them, smirking slightly at the coffee, and took them to the kitchen island. He sat two seats away from Natasha, and across from Loki and Thor, who had been standing by the sink the whole time. He took a bite of the muffin. A bit stale, but still pretty good. And the coffee was gone within seconds, the muffin following shortly after.

* * *

By the time Loki peered through the curtains, the sun had already almost risen completely above the buildings in the distance. He took a deep breath. _Perhaps... Another day would be... Better._ He shook his head, exhaling. Standing straight (but lacking the confidence that he once sent off in waves), Loki strode towards the door leading out of his room. _I still do not know this home. Surely exploring without a guide... Or permission isn't as good of an idea as I had originally thought_. But his hand was on the door handle. Steeling himself, he turned it. _Click_. He pushed it open, and stepped silently into the hallway. It was considerably colder in the halls, Loki noted, but it didn't seem to bother him. He swallowed, remembering why that would be, and made his way to the right. Left. Forward. This hall seemed almost endless, but Loki quickly got to a silver door. Two glowing buttons were set in the wall beside it, one pointing toward the ground, and the other to the ceiling. He reached a tentative hand forward, stopping two inches from the button pointing up. But... Where do these lead? If anywhere?

He pulled his hand back, letting it fall to his side. Turning to his left, a bit farther down the chilled hall was a stair case. One leading up, and it spiraled down to the floor below. Loki started forward, but stopped again. I still do not know the layout of this home. _This surely was not my best idea, _he decided, growling inwardly. But he had to find Thor. And ask him. If he could gather up his... Courage... To ask. Loki barely admitted to himself that he was fearful of the answer. He shouldn't be. But he was.

_"An innocent mind fears nothing"_ Loki reminded himself, recalling a saying he had once heard, although unsure from where. But then he caught himself. He does fear things, many things. Because he is not innocent. _I am filthy and retched and ruined._ He cast his eyes angrily to the ground, and found himself pushing up the stairs. He was now on the floor above his own, and he tread silently in the echoing hallway. This floor was slightly warmer, with more windows and lighting, and there were more doors lined up than on his own floor. One of the doorways was gaping opened, and Loki decided to check that room first.

_Lucky guess,_ he sniffed as he heard Thor's voice speaking softly to a silent presence.

"As a child, he had always been fearful of them," his brother voice was warm, but Loki detected a hint of regret, and... Sorrow. Thor was speaking of Frost Giants. They had been what Loki feared as a young child, and he swallowed hard. "I only wish the two of us had been taught differently than the stories we were told." He paused, as if waiting for a response, but was greeted with silence. "All children in Asgard were told stories of the Frost Giants being monstrous fiends, violent creatures, and were used to scare the young ones into behaving." Thor's voice choked slightly and Loki felt his throat catch. "If we had been taught differently, taught to be accepting and loving, maybe Loki would... I wouldn't have said..." _That you'd kill them - us - all_. Loki thought bitterly, his eyes falling to the ground.

"It's alright, Thor." Loki jumped at the second voice, forgetting that Thor had been talking to anyone but him. This was a woman's voice. Loki thought for a moment, before recalling, _Natasha_. Her voice seemed relaxed, but Loki could tell how tight and guarded she was about the topic of... Him. He blinked, understanding but bitter, and gathered himself to take a step forward. He had to know. Poking his head around the corner, Loki I audibly cleared his throat and took a step into the kitchen. Natasha whirled around, her red hair swishing, and Thor looked up, smiling, despite the sad gleam in his eyes.

* * *

When she saw his face looking around the corner timidly at them, her hand reflexed to the gun that she always strapped to her leg. Natasha saw how pale Loki had become. The bandages wrapped around his head were messed looking, and his eyes blinked slowly. Blue veins were visible around his eyes and on his neck, and he gulped audibly when he saw them. His green eyes were wide, as if he was afraid.

Thor's now booming voice startled Natasha as he greeted Loki with a warm, "Brother!" He flinched at Thor's voice as well, and Thor's face fell like a hurt child's. Loki swallowed again, and took a tentative step forward, eyeing Natasha's hand. She noticed and loosened her grip on the gun, and chose to offer him a tight lipped smile. He didn't return it, and instead let his gaze drift to the floor as he walked over to Thor. Natasha steadied her breathing when she noticed how fast it had become. Quiet but quick. _That's all I am_.

Loki began speaking too quiet for Natasha to hear, and so she sat there. Thor shook his head and said in the same quiet tone, "Brother, you must understand that... Always did... I still love you. We all do." Loki looked down and to the side, as if distracted by an invisible something on the tile. Thor took Loki's pale hands in his own warm ones, and Natasha saw Loki's lips move.

Again she jumped when another voice came from the doorway. She turned to see Bruce, and a disheveled Tony standing behind him like a young animal. Out of the corner of her eye, she saw Loki start, and Thor's head whip up to see the new comers. Bruce nodded at them one more time before leading Tony to the fridge. Natasha could hear them bickering quietly over something, probably Tonys diet (again) and why he needs to take better care of himself (again), but her eyes were watching Loki, and he was watching Bruce and Tony. Thor put a hand on Loki's shoulder, trying to get his attention, but Loki let out the quietest of whimpers as he pulled away. His eyes seemed empty as they stared, almost through, the ground.

_So broken._


	8. Framkvæmd

**So I think I may have worked out a schedule, but sit tight. It might take awhile to adjust to it, and keep up with it and all that ^-^  
I'm really enjoying writing this story, even though I'm not a very good writer. It's so fun to take the characters and work with them and everything and just ugh yes. xD  
Oh, hey, in November, I'm probably going to have a TON of days off, so you might even get four chapters instead of the planned two for each month :D butimakenopromises aha  
Also! Thank you to the guests who reviewed! I can't personally thank you, but I want you to know that I appreciate it very much!  
And this chapter is two days late whoops. Happy Halloween!  
-Raggs**

* * *

_"All __**progress**__ is precarious, and the solution of one problem brings us face to face with another problem." - Martin Luther King, Jr._

* * *

The cold, pale hands showed blue veins. They were visibly shaking, even more so, when Tony and Bruce entered the room. Looking up and down at his brother, standing slouched in front of him, Thor's jaw began to tremble. A small part of him wished Loki would hear what he was saying. How much he meant for his little brother to be loved. Wanted. But Loki wouldn't hear him. He wasn't just taking Thor's words as a lie, Thor knew. Loki took them as a joke. All over again.

Tony took a seat at the marble table in the center of the kitchen, and Bruce stood for a few moments, waiting until Tony finished his food, and then sat down next to the man of iron. Thor turned his eyes back to Loki, who was now turned away, his eyes dropped to the ground, shuddering. Thor took his shoulder in a firmer grip now - careful, of course, not to shake or hold too tightly onto his weak brother - and brought Loki's face back to him. Loki's jaw was stiff, his eyes shifting between the tile and a spot on the cupboard by the fridge. He looked angrier and angrier each time he peered at the cupboard, but Thor took little notice. _Please just believe me, Brother,_ Thor silently begged. After so much time, he still hoped for Loki. _Couldn't he see that?_

Bruce started to stand, and Thor saw Tony begin to follow. Natasha sat firmly in her seat, not moving a muscle since Loki came in. Thor brought Loki a fraction closer, trying to reassure him into trusting him again, if even in the slightest. "Brother, surely you would know that we all still care for you, and that we always did."

"Perhaps I should go back to my... Room," Loki murmured, his voice tight. Thor bit his lip.

"Brother, you must still believe-"

"No!" Loki shouted suddenly, causing everyone to jump. Thor took a step back when the menacing tone was suddenly back in his brothers voice. He saw Tony reach up to the indentation in his chest, rubbing, out of habit, where the arc reactor had previously been. "You lied before! You all did!" Loki motioned towards the window, his arms spread wide, visibly trembling. "Why would it be any different, now, _Odinson_?" Thor flinched at the poisonous tone Loki spat out, but heard his brothers voice catch slightly at the surname.

Suddenly Loki's eyes became distant, and his hands began to slowly come up to clutch his heaving chest, as if he were hugging himself. Thor reached a tentative hand forward, but Loki fell to his knees. Thor's stomach lurched as he heard the sickening thud against tile, but Loki didn't even wince. He simply stared through Thor's legs, his green eyes searching slowly, fear ebbing into them. Thor noticed that Natasha now stood, and Bruce was slowly approaching Loki. The slightest shade of green was washed over his skin, but Bruce seemed impeccably calm. He sank to the floor next to Loki, sitting in a crouch. "Loki, you're fine. You're safe."

Loki swiftly lifted his head to look at Bruce, causing the man to pull back slightly. Thor swallowed, seeing how wide and fearful Loki's eyes suddenly were, jumping around swiftly as if searching for an invisible threat. His breath was ragged, and filled the otherwise silent room. Thor let out a breath he didn't know he was holding, and began to crouch in front of Loki, supporting him so that he would not fall further. Finally, Loki managed to choke out words in between his heavy breath.

"_They won't leave,_" he murmured, bringing his shaking hands up to his messed hair, scratching at the gauze.

* * *

Steve stepped out of the shower, the hot steam rising to the ceiling, covering the mirror. He dried off quickly, pulling a grey t-shirt and denim jeans on. He left the bathroom and glanced at the digital clock on the dresser. "7:00" sharp. He inhaled, brushing his hands through his sodden hair, and stepped out of his room. He walked forward, and then took a left. The kitchen was at the end of the hall, near the elevator. Steve froze for a moment when he heard a familiar voice shouting. Taking a step forward he nearly sprinted to the kitchen, but froze silent in the doorway. Bruce and Thor were crouched by the sink, next to a shaking Loki. His hands were trembling vigorously and he tugged at his hair, as if trying to rip it out. No one seemed to notice Steve standing there, and he remained silent.

Tony turned his head slightly, catching sight of Steve. His lips were pressed together, and Steve's eyes narrowed at how pale he was. Tony swallowed and turn back to face Loki, rubbing the empty spot in his chest out of what Steve assumed was nervous habit. He stepped fully into the kitchen, and peered around the corner. Natasha was standing in a fighting stance, her hand about to draw her gun out of its holster. Steve walked and put his hand on her shoulder. Natasha whirled around, beginning to pull out the handgun, but Steve placed his hand on hers, nodding, and she re-holstered the gun, giving him a tight lipped nod.

Steve jumped when suddenly Loki began thrashing at them. He reached out, knocking Thor into the cupboards, kicking Bruce to the side, and began to stumble rapidly forward. Loki lost his footing and fell forward. He tried to pull himself away, but Steve slid across the counter and grabbed Loki's shirt collar, hoisting him up so that his toes barely touched the ground. Steve saw Natasha go to stand behind Loki, her gun now fully drawn. Tony was pressed up against the fridge, inching towards the kitchens exit. Steve turned his attention back to Loki, who was now holding Steve's wrists, trying to pry him off. He could feel how Loki's fingers twitched, and Steve saw him swallow. Loki's eyes were darting around Steve's face as he tried to free himself.

"Maybe this wasn't the best idea for him to be here," Steve quietly admitted, struggling slightly at the gods strength.

"Wait, Steve," Bruce said, getting up with his head in his hands. His flesh was washed with a pale green. "He's hearing or seeing something. He's having some kind of attack," Bruce shook his head a little bit.

"But he-"

Loki let out a breathy whimper, looking Steve right in the eye. "They won't leave me." He whispered,

Steve opened his mouth to reply, but closed it and warily lowered Loki down. The trickster stood on his feet for a moment before his knees buckled, and he lay with his forehead pressed against the cool tile, his hands resting at the side of his pale face. Steve could see the tips of his fingers turning white as paper as they dug into the floor. Thor was immediately by Loki's side, and Steve crouched down. He looked up at Natasha, who's lip twitched slightly, but she gave a short nod to Steve as she re-holstered her gun and took a step back. Bruce made his way around, his skin now devoid of green. Tony was gone.

"Let's get him back to his room." Bruce murmured quietly, and Thor picked Loki up. Loki was, aside from his lips, which were now moving as though he was whispering something, stiff and didn't blink as Thor held him and carried him out, followed by Bruce. Steve looked to Natasha, but she shook her head before he could ask if she knew what Loki had meant.

"This may have not been my best idea, I guess," Steve said after a moment of silence, bringing his hand up to rub his neck.

Natasha raised an eyebrow at him.

"To have him here."

She looked at the floor for a moment, considering. "No," she said after a moment. "It was a good idea. In a way. He's still a threat, he's still dangerous. But not as big of one as he was before." She brought her eyes back to Steve's. "And while I still don't like it, I won't argue that it was good to bring him here, to... Help him."

Steve pressed his lips together, nodding. "Well, I'm glad," he gave her his usual smile, "that you agree, Natasha."

A small smile was given in response.

* * *

7:05. About time to get up, Clint decided. He usually got up much earlier, but lately had no energy. Whether that was his increase in field missions upon Loki's coming to the Avengers tower, or just Loki as a whole, Clint would not know. But if anyone asked - and he knew they were smarter than that - Clint had simply been tending to the bows that Tony let him keep in his room. Standing, with the kitchen in mind, Clint brought himself to the door. Click. As he took a step into the hall, the elevator at the end opened up. He almost raised his hand to give a small wave to whoever it was, but stopped and tightened his jaw when he saw Thor come out with an unmistakeable man in his arms. Bruce followed closely behind, muttering under his breath. He looked up, noticing Clint, and gave him a sympathetic look, knowing what he was thinking. Clint jumped back slightly when Loki turned his head lazily in Clint's direction, his green eyes glazed over.

_What the hell happened?_ Clint almost growled, had he not been forced into silence by his own self. Thor went into Loki's room, and Bruce closed the door behind them.

Clint stood there in the empty hallway, but he did not know how long. It was only when Bruce came out of the room that Clint realized how tired his legs were from standing stationary for so long. Bruce raised his glasses up and rubbed his eyes, giving an exasperated sigh. Clint nodded to him when he looked up, and Bruce raised his eyebrows. "So..." Clint swallowed, "what's Loki's... Deal?"

"He had wandered out of his room, and found us in the kitchen, and he was calm but suddenly yelled at Thor, and then he had some sort of attack. I think he saw, or heard, something. Someone. I don't know." Bruce rubbed the nape of his neck.

"What do you mean?" Clint's voice was tight. He didn't want to know anything about Loki, not a single thing, but he was compelled to know what haunted the god. What hurt him. "What did he see - or hear?"

"I don't know. But he was trying to claw at and hit his head, like he was trying to get something out. And he said, 'they won't leave'. And you know what, he was starting to get... Better, too. Not violent anymore, not entirely. Thor said he had more of the personality that he always had. So, better, almost."

"And suddenly there's another issue?" Clint scoffed.

"He never showed any obvious signs of something like that being _wrong_ with him, but I probably wouldn't know. That's not exactly my area."

Clint nodded, glancing down the hall. "What about Thor?"

"Still sitting with him. We tried to get Loki to say what he saw, but he wouldn't talk or look directly at us. It was almost like he... Left his body." Bruce shook his head, sighing. "Sounds stupid, but I don't know how else to explain it. His eyes just looked dead."

"I saw." Clint nodded.

"Thor should be out in a while, if you want to ask him about it," Bruce puffed tiredly.

"No, no, I'm just going to head up to the kitchen. Tasha still there?"

Bruce nodded, and fell in behind Clint as he headed to the kitchen.

They rounded the corner in, and found Natasha sweeping up some bits of crushed cupboard where Thor had landed, and Steve dumping the bits into the trash can. Natasha stood, both of them facing away from the doorway, and brushed the dust off her hands. "JARVIS?"

The disembodied voice rang out, and Steve looked uncomfortable as ever. "Yes, Miss Romanov?"

"Make sure you let Stark know that his kitchen needs fixing," she said, placing the trash can back under the kitchen sink.

"Right away, Miss Romanov. Will that be all for now?"

"Just about, yeah."

Steve nodded to her. "When do you think Clint will be up?"

"Already is, probably. Just not- oh. Speaking of," Natasha said, noticing Clint and Bruce as she turned.

"Oh, do you know what...?" Steve looked at them, rubbing his wrist.

"No, he won't talk, or move. He's gone catatonic; won't even look at us." Bruce said, glancing around. "Any idea where Tony went?"

Natasha shook her head, and Steve shrugged. Bruce sighed tiredly, and pushed past Clint, heading towards the elevator. Clint was left there, and began examining the ceiling as he walked into the kitchen with his friends. Steve clapped a hand on his shoulder, and Clint gave a nod and a small smile in return. He quickly averted his eyes back to the tile, silently grinding his teeth together.

"You saw him, didn't you?" Steve gave Clint's shoulder a slight tug, turning his friend back to them. "When they brought him back up you saw him?"

Clint pushed Steve's hand away, sighing. "Yeah, yeah," he grunted, "I saw 'em, he looked like a mess. Doesn't matter." Natasha narrowed her eyes at him, and Clint pressed his lips together. "What?" Clint raised his eyebrows.

"'You're a bad liar, Clint." Natasha turned, dumping the last little bits of the debris into the trash can under the sink. Clint puffed, and Steve suppressed a tiny laugh at Clint's miffed look. "Hey," she continued, "we get it. You don't have to put that up anymore. We're not at S.H.I.E.L.D.. This isn't a test. You don't have to fake it."

"Yeah, don't worry about it, Clint," Steve grinned.

_Horribly fake when cheering people up, you two are._ But Clint gave them a real smile anyways. _At least you're trying though._

* * *

_Come on then,_ creature, _weep, won't we?_

_Don't bother, they won't hear they won't care they won't see they won't HELP THEY WON'T HEAR THEY WON'T CARE THEY WON'T SEE THEY WON'T-_

_But surely they must care, they keep us here, and-_

_"Keep"! In a cage, barred off, like the animal we are. An ugly bird with clipped wings!_

_THEY NEVER CARED THEY NEVER LOOKED THEY NEVER SAW THEY NEVER WANTED YOU-_

Loki clutched his head and lurched forward, screaming. He dug his nails into the thick gauze wrapped around his head, and screamed again when larger, warmer hands pulled his own away. Loki opened his stinging eyes, blurred by tears he hadn't realized were there. In front of the couch where Loki lay, he recognized the blurry shape of Thor, who was holding Loki's hands tightly, saying things Loki could not hear. His breath rattled as he fell forward into Thor, gasping for air as he tried to claw himself away. He lifted his head, and looked around. On either side of Thor were glowering copies of Loki, both shouting and snarling, and behind Thor was a meeker version of Loki, trying to reason. The third was no longer audible among the poison being spat at him. But Loki tried to push away from himself, and Thor only held him tighter in place.

"Brother, Loki, please, please..." Thor began stroking Loki's back with trembling hands, and he was sure that Thor was holding back tears as well. "Calm yourself, breath, you're okay."

_He doesn't care LIARS LIARS THIEVES AND FALSE KINGS-_

"No, that is us," Loki choked out between each rattling breath. "That's us that's me not them it's me." He felt Thor's throat bob as he swallowed, breathing heavy with Loki.

"Loki, talk to me, what are you seeing? What are you hearing, Brother?" Thor brought Loki's head back, tilting his face towards him. Loki could now easily make everything in the room out as his tears tried. He felt three slow-moving streams of blood making their way down his forehead from where he clawed at himself, just as Thor's expression contorted into that of a scared animal.

_You see, he fears you he hates you. More than the others, your own brother hates you and your own mother and your own father-_

And then it was silent. Loki hesitated a moment, before slowly peeling his shaking hands away from his face. He glanced around, shuddering, but the copies of himself were gone. The blue-skinned screamer, and the meek younger him, and the fully armor-clad and bitter one. Gone. He looked up, seeing Thor's jaw set to the side, trying to smile weakly at Loki.

"See, see, you're fine, Loki. You're okay." Thor released Loki's wrists from his gentle hold, and brought him gingerly into a hug. "Tell me what you were seeing, Brother. Don't worry, you're safe, you're safe, just tell me."

Loki let out a small whimper, catching his breath, and weakly pulled away from Thor, sitting back on the couch. Thor scooted closer, still kneeling on the ground in front of Loki. Loki let out one last sob before placing his head back in his hands, letting the tiny streams of blood cover his hands as they scabbed over. He exhaled loudly, finally regaining his composure as his heart steadied. Looking back to Thor, he felt a sudden flash of anger, but was calmed quickly upon Thor's placing his hands on Loki's shoulders.

"What is plaguing you, Loki?" Thor sounded sincere, but the voices, his own voice, echoed through his mind, and he turned sharply away.

"Please leave." Thor looked taken aback at Loki's sudden curt tone.

"W-what?" He stammered, pulling his hands back a little. Loki balled his fists on his thighs, and sucked in another breath.

"Leave." He said a little more forcefully.

"Loki, I only wish to know so that I may help you..." Thor now looked at Loki as he had before Loki fell all that time ago.

Loki's jaw tightened at the memory, but he forced himself to relax it and turned calmly to his brother. _Just Thor, we're not brothers,_ reminded himself. "And I wish," Loki swallowed, trying to keep his voice from trembling so much, "to not speak of it."

Thor bit his lip, staring at the ground for a few excruciating moments, before he finally gave a tiny nod and looked into Loki's eyes with a sadness that Loki knew all too well. "If you choose to speak of it, simply call for me." His eyes fell again, but Loki kept the air of fake certainty as he watched Thor stand and slowly leave the room. Once the door clicked softly behind Thor, Loki fell onto his side on the couch. He stared ahead at the silvery walls of his room.

_Our prison_, an angered voice murmured in the back of his mind. Loki squeezed his eyes shut and covered his face with his arms, curling up into a tight ball.

* * *

When Bruce found him, he decided to put on his public mask. Snark and jokes at others expense. He decided to act as his "usual" self.

Not scared, like he was (totally wasn't) a half an hour ago. In that time, he had managed to avoid confrontation about his sleep from Pepper, and calm himself down by, yet again, tinkering. He wasn't really sure what this project was going to be, but it gave him something to do. If it ended up being some useless chunk of crap in his workshop, it would be nothing new. He made useless crap all the time.

He jumped when he felt a hand grab his shoulder and turn him around, straightening his hunched over back in the process. "Ah!" Tony growled as he fumbled the chunk of useless crap. He managed to get it back onto the work table, and turned back to Bruce with a forced scowl on his face. If he was being honest, he was kind of grateful for Bruce's (and of course Pepper's) persistence in staying around him. He had spent a lot of his time alone, and if he was being even more honest, he kind of hated it. But he wasn't ever honest with himself. "What?" Tony said curtly, pouting his lips. Bruce didn't find the childish look funny.

"Tony, you've got to stop running and hiding into your workshop all the time. I get wanting to be away from Loki, I don't even know why he was wandering around in the first place, but you run from us too. It's not healthy. We're all your friends, despite how bad some of us are at showing it." Tony smirked, thinking of how amusing it was to watch Clint stumble over any words having to do with friendship, and Thor's inability to understand that, no, you do not need to give all of your friends things that were "Nearly half as powerful as Gungnir", whatever the hell that was. "Just try to get over your little, er... Phobia... Thing..."

"Bruce, you're a poet," Tony said in a mocking, gruff voice. Bruce rolled his eyes, taking a seat next to Tony.

"You also need to get more sleep. You look like Death."

"Gee thanks," Tony replied sweetly, batting his eyes as he picked up the closest tool and continued chipping away at the chunk of useless crap.

"What's that?" Bruce asked, leaning closer to get a better look.

"It's... Uhh... C.O.U.P.." _Chunk of useless pieces. Damn I'm good. _Tony chuckled inwardly at himself.

"What is it for?"

Tony pressed his lips together. "That is... That is a secret." Bruce raised an eye brow. "It does things, for that thing, and... Yeah, I dunno."

Bruce stared at him, exhaling softly. "See, Tony, this is part of the issue. You tinker, you make things, but nothin is coming out of it. You spend days in here without so much as blinking, and you just make things. Why do you think Pepper is so mad about the time you spend in here?"

"Yeah, I know, I know." Tony growled, resting his head in his hands. "Do you want me to go to bed? It won't last long, but-"

"You sleep. It'll last as long as Pepper and I say so. We can have JARVIS keep you out, you know that, right?"

Tony let out a throaty growl. "Mmf," he grunted, standing now with a genuine scowl on his face."Whatever, Jolly Green."

He couldn't help but smirk as he turned away from a very disgruntled Bruce.

* * *

Natasha rounded the corner and came face to face with Thor. She stepped back, greeting him with a nod. He smiled weakly back, and stepped aside to let her pass. She started forward, but stopped, turning to Thor. He was already facing away from her, but she caught up to him and and fell in step beside him. He gave her a side glance, but kept walking. She could hear his teeth grinding together slightly, and he kept clenching and unclenching his fists.

"Did you and Bruce find out-"

"No," he murmured, cutting her off. "He began sobbing and digging his nails into his head, as though he was attempting to claw something... Someone... Out." Thor swallowed, not looking at Natasha.

She pressed her lips together and squinted slightly before fully catching what Thor had said. "What do you mean by, 'someone'?"

"He, uh, said something to himself. But it was as if he was _really_ talking to himself." Natasha furrowed her brow, and when she said nothing, Thor went on. "He was silent since he had," Thor scrunched his nose, "lashed out at us in the kitchen. Yet when he finally spoke, he said, 'No, that is us.' What could that ever mean, though?"

Natasha's steps faltered slightly, but she kept the same pace as Thor. "Maybe he's seeing himself, from the memories? It's not him anymore, but it's still there? I haven't dealt with that issue before, but I think I may have heard of something similar from some S.H.I.E.L.D. cases."

"Perhaps." Thor said quietly, turning away slightly. Natasha raised her eyebrows a bit, worry creasing her face, unnoticeable if Thor were to look at her (he wouldn't), but there nonetheless. They walked in silence to Tony's conference room, both under the assumption that the others would want to have a "chat" about the newest problem. Their assumption was correct.


	9. Pegja

**Fun Fact: I have everything for this story all planned out now. Especially for the later chapters. And I seem to be making it as painful as possible. **

**Thank you to my sister, Malset-Kai, for Beta-ing. That's super cool of you. **

**I'm not super happy about how the end of the chapter went, but I revised it a few times so it's pretty good in my opinion. So, try to enjoy the latest installment :D**

**-Raggs**

* * *

"_Your__** silence**__ will not protect you." - Audre Lorde_

* * *

_Silence is good. Silence is safe. Silence is good. Silence is safe._

Loki had managed to convince himself that was true over the past few days. He craved the few silent hours when he managed to repress the visions of himself. When they were gone, and someone else was in the room (Bruce would come in for several hours each day and try to talk to Loki, and occasionally Thor or, to Loki's surprise, Natasha, would tag along), Loki would continued to repeat this line in his head, refusing to speak, to think anything else.

_Silence is good. Silence is safe. Silence is good. Silence is—_

Loki jumped as a hand was placed gently on his shoulder, giving him a light shake. Bruce was standing over the bed that Loki lay on, behind him was Natasha holding a small tray with food on it. Food Loki would likely not eat. Bruce was giving a soft smile (_more genuine, now, _Loki noticed), and Natasha had a stern look on her face as she watched Bruce speak, not daring to look at Loki. He swallowed, and turned his attention back to Bruce.

"Loki, we brought you more food. It's uh..."

"Chicken soup." Natasha said curtly when Bruce turned to her.

"Yeah. Pepper made it. You know her, right?" Bruce raised his eyebrows slightly at Loki.

He swallowed, looking around the room as he sifted through the names and faces he had learned. Pepper. Tony's... Girlfriend, as he had heard him say. Loki nodded, not looking at either of them now. Natasha placed the tray carefully onto the bedside table before returning to her rigid posture. Loki noticed she wasn't wearing her usual attire, a black cat suit or some sort of fancy Midgard clothing, but instead a shirt like his with short sleeves, and the same sort of pants. He furrowed his brow slightly, deeming it odd to see her without the things she always wore, but noticed she still had a gun holstered to her leg and looked away.

"You can eat when you'd like to, of course, but don't forget it's here," Bruce said slowly. "Now, Loki. I know it might be difficult, or whatever it is might have told you not to, but we need you to tell us what you've been seeing. We can't help you if we don't know." Now Natasha and Bruce were both staring at him, the slightest hint of concern on each of their faces.

_Concern for themselves, only. Not you, _the voice chided again, and Loki squeezed his eyes shut, pressing it back down again. Another hand was gently lain on Loki's other shoulder, and he could hear Bruce murmuring something. Loki hissed through clenched teeth, and then it was silent again. He waited a moment before opening his eyes, slowly at first, then blinking a few times before simply staring at the ground between Natasha and Bruce. He noticed now, though, that Natasha was closer, and that the second hand was smaller than the first. He blinked, looking up, and realized that Natasha was now trying to speak to him. She kept the same emotionless mask, but her voice was soft.

"Loki, it's in your head. It can't hurt you, not really, no matter what it says or does. Just tell us what it is. We're trying to help." Bruce stared at her, slightly perplexed, as she spoke so softly and carefully.

_They call us an it! We aren't even alive to them. Just another _assignment,_ like everything else! _The voice hissed. Loki jerked his head away, pulling himself to the side.

"They don't know it's me, they don't know," he whispered, scrunching his face together.

"Who doesn't know what?" It was Bruce who was speaking now.

Loki shook his head quickly, turning away.

"Loki," he said firmly, turning Loki to face him and Natasha. "You need to tell us. We can make whatever it is go away." Natasha blinked slowly, and Bruce gave Loki another small shake. He gulped, sitting up straighter (still slumping, though, far too weak, both mentally and physically, to hold himself up).

He breathed out slowly, closing his eyes. When he opened them, Bruce and Natasha still kneeled in front of him, beside the bed. Loki closed his eyes again, shaking his head a little before placing his head in his hands, blocking them out.

_Silence is good. Silence is safe. Silence is good. Silence is safe. Silence is good. Silence is safe._

Loki knew Natasha was speaking now, but he couldn't make out her muffled words as he cradled his head. He opened his eyes now, still staring at his lap. Bruce stood, hesitated for a moment, and then his feet disappeared from Loki's limited vision as he walked away. He could see Natasha's feet, currently bare, and they swiveled to face him. He shook his head again,

_Silence is good. Silence is safe. They can't hurt you if you can't hear them. The silence will protect me. The silence will help me. _

He let out a tiny whimper when Natasha lifted his head, dragging him roughly from his thoughts. She stared him in the eye for a few moments before speaking, her hand still holding his chin up.

"Dr. Banner left, but he is having me stay here," she said, her voice tight, lips barely moving. "I will stay for a while, and I expect you to speak at some point during that time. You're only hurting yourself by staying silent." She stood, gently removing her hand from his chin, and turned to sit on the chair facing his bed. She sat herself down, crossed one leg over the other, and interlaced her fingers, placing them on her lap. Natasha then pursed her lips and stared at him, eyebrows raised expectantly.

Loki took the only escape route out of conversing with her that he currently could: he picked up the tray, lifted the spoon, and began to slowly eat the lukewarm soup. The foods of Midgard were, to him, a bit lacking in flavor compared to the Asgardian foods he had grown up on, but he slowly ate the food, not breaking eye contact however much he wished to.

Natasha shifted in her seat, sniffing a bit, watching him eat. Loki shifted uncomfortably, glancing down at the bowl as he lifted another spoonful of noodles and chicken to his mouth. _Not the most flavorful of dishes, but still rather... Alright, _he admitted to himself, now watching the food intently, refusing to catch her gaze any longer. He heard her exhale a bit louder than necessary, and finally dared to look up. She retained the blank stare as she waited for him to speak. Her eyebrows raised again, a cue for him to speak, but he shook his head as he stared at her, and pushed down a snort when her eyebrows furrowed slightly.

"All you need to do is tell me what you're seeing or hearing, and we can help you." She blinked slowly, not breaking eye contact.

_The more they know, the more they have against us. To hurt us. That's all they want. It's the only reason they're trying to "help" us. In the end they'll just discard us as our father had so readily done._

He heard a gasp and saw Natasha stand, but his eyes were scrunched tight before he could register what he had done. Digging his nails into the gauze again, Loki shuddered.

"No, no, no, get out get out _get out GET OUT!_" He felt his legs kick involuntarily and heard Natasha yelp. His eyes shot open, and saw the bowl shattered on the floor, but he stood, walking through the soup and glass bits to get to Natasha, who had been kicked away, and now lay in the smash coffee table, cradling her face. She looked up at him, dazed, and didn't seem to recognize him as she blinked rapidly in an attempt to regain her reflexes. Loki reached forward, gingerly lifting her up and setting her gently down on the couch in a sitting position. Just as he took a step back, she seem to regain her senses and lashed out towards him.

_You see, they only mean to hurt us, to attack us, to punish us!_

Loki yelped as a well aimed blow to the head knocked him back a few feet, and he rolled over, wincing as the bits of broken wood poked his back. He lay with his head on the ground, forcing his voice away.

"No, no, no, no, no." He whispered, over and over. Loki could hear Natasha walking forward, brushing the debris off her clothes.

"JARVIS, call for Dr. Banner and Thor, please." When he heard her command, he turned his hunched shoulders to look at her, a pleading look on his face.

"I didn't mean to—" Loki fell silent at her hardened gaze, and flinched when he heard his door open.

"What the hell happened?" It was Bruce, and Loki could hear Thor's heavy steps following shortly after him.

"He heard whatever it is again and freaked." Natasha said, turning to them. Loki hid his face against the floor again and closed his eyes, steadying his breathing.

"Man, Tony's gonna be pissed." Bruce sighed.

A large hand was placed on Loki's back, and he shuddered, trying to pull himself away. The hand brought Loki closer regardless, flinching and holding him tighter when he involuntarily spasmed.

Thor gasped when he saw Loki's face. As his brother thrashed in his arms, red, spindly markings spread quickly from underneath the now tattered gauze and traveled down his face, his neck, his arms and torso, fading as it went down to his bare feet.

Natasha's jaw stiffened, and Bruce stepped forward, extending a hand to help still Loki. "That's not..." He murmured, thinking. "It's not just in his head, is it?" Thor looked up, subtle fear ebbing into his blue eyes.

"What is it, Doctor Banner?" Thor's voice was choked up as Loki lay limp in his arms, breathing heavy as he pulled himself closer to Thor, curling into his chest.

Bruce shook his head. "I don't know."

"Get Tony to help you test him." Natasha suggested nonchalantly, failing to completely mask the fear that was slowly leaving her.

"For what?" Bruce snapped, face softening when he saw Natasha's startled look. "Sorry, sorry. Just—"

"Yeah, it's fine." Natasha retorted, cutting him off.

Bruce led her out of the room, leaving a still Loki in the arms of Thor, but when Loki finally turned his head, Natasha was watching him as she left. Not to keep an eye on him, but instead her face was painted with confusion, and... Concern. Loki looked at her as she slipped through the door, "sorry" written across his face. The door clicked closed, and he buried his face back into Thor's chest.

* * *

"You've got to be kidding me," Tony muttered when JARVIS informed him of the recent damage to Loki's room. Swiping his hand across the tablet on his workshop table, a screen appeared before him, seemingly floating. He began manipulating it as he walked around, pulling up the video feed of Loki's room. He swallowed when he saw Loki's small, balled up figure at the top of the bed. Despite the average video quality, Tony could see him shuddering. He noticed Thor pacing in the corner of the feed, not letting his gaze leave his younger brother.

"Sir, Agent Romanov and Dr. Banner are heading to your work space."

Tony waved his hand absently. "Not now. Busy. Workin' on a thing," he grunted, pulling a piece of metal from the project he had dubbed as "C.O.U.P.".

"I'm afraid they have already arrived at the door, Sir."

"JARVIS, just lock 'em ou—"

Tony was interrupted by the door to his lab being almost slammed open by Natasha, who was followed by a seemingly calmer Bruce.

"Ah, whattayawant," Tony growled through the screwdriver he held in his teeth.

"Clearly you've seen what Loki did just now." Natasha said, yanking the screwdriver from Tony's mouth and motioning towards the screen with the room feed on it.

"Ow!" Tony glared at her, grabbing the screwdriver back and twisting it into C.O.U.P.. "Yeah, yeah, I'll fix it up in a minute. I'm just busy right now."

"Sorry, Tony, but your project can wait a little longer. Something else is wrong with Loki," Bruce said, placing a hand on C.O.U.P., pulling it gently away from Tony.

Tony narrowed his eyes. "What do you mean, 'something else'? There's no way this guy has _another _issue we have to take care of." Tony sighed, pushing away from his desk and standing.

"Can you rewind the footage in his room?" Natasha asked.

"What? Uh, yeah, here. JARVIS, turn on the sound in Loki's room feed."

"Wait, do you have noise feeds for all of our rooms, too?" Bruce asked, furrowing his brow nervously.

"Nah, just in Rudolph's room," Tony said, and Bruce relaxed. "I really don't care what you assholes say in your rooms, the only reason there's a video feed for your rooms is in case JARVIS has to check through for like, security or whatever."

"Oh, okay. That's... Good," Bruce said.

Tony nodded, pulling the screen with Loki's room feed closer to the three of them. "Alright, rewind a little, not much is happening right now... Man, how long has Thor been pacing, Christ he's gonna run a hole into the floor if he keeps this up. Mmkay, you guys left the room, and—" Tony froze up for a moment, fast forwarding and pausing. "What the _hell _is _that_?" He swiped at the screen, zooming in on Loki. "Oh my god. What is all that?" Tony turned to Natasha and Bruce. Both shrugged, and Tony sighed. "Helpful. Hang on, I need to watch this again." Tony winced during the playback a few times, once when each piece of furniture was smashed, another when Loki's sharp shouting played out through the speakers, to which he turned down the volume, and finally when the red markings mapped their way across his skin.

"You think we ought to test him for... Something?" Tony asked after a long moment of silence, closing out the video feed.

"Yeah, but what?" Bruce sighed, plopping down on a nearby stool. Natasha stood static between, squinting at where the screen had been.

"Blood, maybe." Bruce and Tony turned to her then, each raising an eyebrow in unison. "Well," she said slowly, finally sitting down, "it might be some kind of disease. Not something from Earth, obviously, but maybe from Asgard, or wherever else this guy has been the past few years."

"Speaking of which, where has he been all this time?" Tony asked, looking between them. "Did he or Goldilocks say?"

"Thor's been on Earth this entire time. With Jane, I believe her name is, between his visits here," said Bruce.

"How about Loki?"

"Hasn't said anything about it, to my knowledge. Did he say anything to you, Natasha?"

Both turned back to her. She blinked, thinking briefly. "No. Not a thing."

The three turned back to where the screen had been, stumped.

"Well," Tony began, clapping his hands together as he stood, "let's get to workin' on this, then, shall we?"

* * *

"Ah, hell," Clint hissed, hanging up the call. He looked around. Steve still sat in the chair he had remained in during the entirety of their meeting. His fingers were still laced together, his chin resting on top. He hadn't seemed to notice that Clint had finished his call, or that he was there at all. "Hey, Cap?"

Steve raised his eyebrows, his gaze not leaving the center of the empty table.

"Do you know where everyone is? Or at least Tash? S.H.I.E.L.D. just called. It's important."

Now Steve looked up. "What do they want? Checking up on him, yeah?"

Clint chuckled slightly, rubbing the nape of his neck. "Uh, no, no, not exactly."

"Then… What is it?"

"They, or, well, the Council, wants a trial. For Loki."

Steve's brow furrowed. "When?"

"Didn't give an exact day. So, you know where everyone else is?"

Steve shrugged, frowning.

"Alright. I'll be back… Er, soon. Probably."

"Yeah, yeah." Steve said absently. "I'll… Be… Here…"

Clint squinted at Steve questioningly, but shrugged, turning on his heel. Opening the door out of the meeting room, he stepped into the hall and began searching.

It was easy enough to find Natasha. The Avengers generally stayed within the same four floors, despite the tower's vast amount of space.

"Hey, guys." Clint said, poking his head into Tony's lab. The three of them snapped their heads up, looking expectantly up at Clint from across the room. "Hey, yeah, um, we have a thing to do."

"We have a _lot _of _things _to do, Katniss," Tony said, rolling his eyes.

Clint narrowed his eyes, sighing, before fully entering the room. "No, S.H.I.E.L.D. just called."

Natasha cocked an eyebrow, and Bruce visibly stiffened.

"What about?" Tony said after a moment.

"They want a trial. Well, I think it's the council that does. Even though we all know it won't _really _be a trial, considering it's them, and it's Loki."

Tony exhaled, rubbing his hands on his jeans. He looked tired suddenly, as if the years of missed sleep finally caught up to him. "Did they say when?"

"Uh, no. Not exactly. But Director Fury said it would be best if we were in S.H.I.E.L.D. HQ within a few days. We'd all have to stay there, with Loki, until after the trial," said Clint, twitching his nose slightly.

Tony let out a snarl under his breath, that vaguely sounded like, "I got shit to do, I don't need S.H.I.E.L.D. up my ass right now, I got my own problems," or something of that nature.

Natasha stood from her seat now, and turned to Tony and Bruce. "Start testing him now, then. For anything. Have Thor help, he might have an idea of what's up."

Bruce and Tony nodded, and Natasha strode over to Clint. "Let's start getting ready, then." She turned her head back to Tony. "Should we tell Loki and Thor now, or would it be better to wait?"

Tony and Bruce shared a glance momentarily. "Wait?" Bruce asked

"Wait." Tony nodded.

They both looked at Natasha, speaking simultaneously. "Wait. Wait is good."

Natasha nodded, licking her teeth, and flashed Clint a tight smile as she walked past him out of the lab.

Catching up to her, Clint grabbed her shoulder. "Tash. Tash, hey." She stopped and turned.

"Mm?"

"Test who for what? Loki?"

She nodded, raising her eyebrows as if it was obvious.

"For what?"

"We don't know. But there's something wrong with him."

"Yeah, _now _you notice."

Natasha gave him a "playful" punch to the shoulder, and Clint winced.

"When we were in there, with him, he started freaking out again," Natasha said, walking again. Clint fell in step beside her, listening. "And this red stuff, like spiderwebs, almost, just spread across his skin, and then faded." She turned her head to face him as they walked. "So yes, _now _I notice."

Clint's brow knitted itself together, and he stared at the ground as they walked. "It's magic, then," he said finally.

"I would assume so."

"Great. Magical poison. Wonderful. Just another excuse." Clint scoffed.

Natasha paused, turning to him. "What makes you think it's poison?"

"I dunno, first thing that came to mind?"

Natasha pursed her lips, nodding slowly. "Well," she said, walking again, "let's go get ready for S.H.I.E.L.D.."

* * *

_Don't talk and don't think. Don't talk and don't think. They'll go away. They'll go away._

His face was buried in his knees, and he lay in a heap on his bed, his limbs pulled so closely into him that one might think he was a small animal. Looking up, he saw Thor continuing to pace back and forth along the wall by his door. "Go away, go away, you can't help," he whispered, squeezing his eyes shut again. A spasm suddenly shot through him, and Thor froze, staring at him with wide eyes. Loki clenched his teeth, fighting down the cry of pain. Red markings webbed across his hands, to his feet, and faded as the pain did.

"Brother?" Thor came closer, slowly. "Loki, do you know what this is?"

Loki shook his head slowly, pulling closer into himself. "No, no, no." The words were barely a breath, but Thor caught them anyway.

"Dr. Banner and Stark are going to help you. They're going to find out what it is," his brother's voice was thick, shaking slightly. Loki knew Thor was unsure, Thor didn't know, whether or not they would. And if they did, if they'd be able to help.

But Loki nodded slowly anyway, half hoping that maybe Thor would leave him in silence. Half hoping Thor would stay, and help him like he always would.

"I remember more," Loki said suddenly. He winced now, not meaning to speak, not meaning to give Thor a reason to stay longer than he had to. Longer than he already had.

"Tell me, brother. What have you recalled?" Thor's voice was hopeful now, and Loki felt himself roll his eyes beneath closed lids.

Loki hesitated for a moment before opening his eyes, blinking slowly in the dark room. "Thor, don't you remember anything I've done," he asked, looking up at Thor.

Thor shook his head, swallowing. "Loki, I've been on Midgard all this time. I haven't the slightest on what's happened in that time."

Loki blinked, narrowing his eyes. "All… Alright." He said after a moment of silence, biting his lip.

* * *

Natasha and Clint got to their floor, and nodded to each other as Clint disappeared into his room, preparing all of his gear. None of the others would need to, but Clint and Natasha had no way of knowing how much longer they would have to stay there after Loki's trial was over.

She faltered slightly when she passed by Loki's door, but no sound could be heard on the other side. She shook her head, continuing on towards the end of the hall to her room. Quietly opening the door and slipping inside, Natasha shut it behind her and stared at her practically empty room.

"At least there's not much to prepare," she muttered.

Grabbing the small bag she used to transport her things between S.H.I.E.L.D. and the Avengers tower, Natasha quickly shoved all of her gear in and threw it onto the center of her bed. She walked over to the window and shut the bright sunlight out of her room, and then sat on her bed in the dark.

* * *

_I shouldn't have to think about this, _Steve thought, still sitting in the meeting room. He'd lost track of how long he had been sitting there since Clint left, or since the meeting had finished, for that matter. _He's not a good person. I only had them bring him here to try and keep him in line. Help him out, I guess. That stunt though, he practically attacked us! If his magic, or whatever, was stronger, he probably could've killed us…_

He shook his head, sighing. _He can't help it. There must be something else wrong with the guy for him to do that. Especially since he seemed to be, well, better, almost. For a lack of a better word, I suppose. _

_I mean, other than the attacking issue he seems to have, Loki is… Fine, in a way. He's clearly in pain, mental and emotional, and I can't very well deal with that, but we can all try. _Steve's nose twitched, and he adjusted himself in the seat. _This time around, he seems to be handling all of the issues better. Maybe it's because we're trying to help. _Steve straightened up now, staring at the wall. _He probably just needed someone to understand this whole time. _He shook his head at the seemingly childish thought, _Maybe he just needed a friend. _


End file.
